I’m so glad to share with you a video excerpt from the big event that happened yesterday at the White House:  President Obama and First Lady Michelle held a reception for the GLBT community in recognition of the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

As usual, Obama was a masterful speaker.  He stated his case for what his administration has already done for GLBT’s since taking office.  I only hope that Obama can continue to follow his words with more actions, as he promised yesterday with his words…

Certainly while we are frustrated and want to see bigger gains, we must look at what we can be thankful for, in terms of Obama’s stated respect for our community as compared to previous presidents and, obviously, we are much better off in terms of ‘promise’ as compared to what we would have had with a republican president.  For example, we probably wouldn’t have seen this type of reception if John McCain were president.

By the way, if you want to watch the official White House video and get a transcript of Obama’s speech, you can do so by clicking here.

Well, here it is about 8p and, finally, after a busy day of running various errands, it’s St. Pete Pride Eve and I’m making last minute preparations for tomorrow’s festivities.

If you are in the St. Pete area tomorrow, I hope you know you are invited to come by Coach Sappho’s booth.  We’re giving away some great gifts, such as free coaching and free matchmaking.

I can’t wait to meet some of the single lesbians from the St. Pete area so, if that’s you, BE THE CHOOSER – be sure to stop by our booth and sign up for a free month in Lez Rendezvous and your complimentary matchmaking profile.

And, all you lesbian couples:  you didn’t think I’d forgotten you, did I?  Be sure to stop by and learn more about our couples community, Lez Be Together.

And, check this out:  Coach Sappho’s reach extends beyond Florida this Pride Festival weekend.  If you are in Minnesota and attending Twin Cities Pride, just know that we’ve got a ‘Coach Sappho’ supporter in the crowd, so if you happen upon her, be sure to grab some of the ‘Coach Sappho’ literature and free offers she’s handing out! 

I’ll end today’s post with this thought for you: My dog Lucy and I just returned from her last walk of the day.  We went down to wish a neighbor and his dog (Lucy’s friend) bon voyage as they are heading north for a month.  The dogs had a blast teasing each other with bones!  Believe it or not, Lucy put one down and her friend, a Yorkie who is 15, stole that bone right out from under her!

I made sure to say goodbye.  Both my neighbor and his dog are ’senior citizens’, so, you just never know.  Lucy and I enjoy our visits with them so much.  Maybe we click due to our similarities: two single people and their dogs.  Whatever it is these two ‘guys’ are special to Lucy and I.

When I returned home, I saw that the Farrah Fawcett story was on TV again tonight and I happened to walk in at the part where Ryan O’Neal was saying, with a shaking voice, in words we now know have come to pass: ‘I am worried about what is going to happen…What will I do?  Farrah taught me how to live‘.

Now, many have been saying things about Ryan and his intentions.  I just have to say I sense his intentions are authentic.  I think there is something truly unique about Ryan and Farrah’s love.  Say what you will but they’ve stuck by each other, over the years, through thick and thin.  Their chemistry is palpable.  He also said on the show, “I will never love anyone like I love Farrah…this is it.”

Yes, they’ve shared a typical Hollywood romance.  Or, maybe it isn’t even fair of me to say that.  However, in my gut I feel they’ve shared a truly deep bond and I’m sure Ryan is in much emotional pain today and is in my thoughts.

When I see Ryan I see a man who probably ‘aged gracefully’ because of the relationship and friendship he shared with Farrah.  It’s so obvious.  Because of their love, he’s a better man.  And she was a better woman.  There is something very special about the fact theye kept coming back to each other.  And, of course, Ryan was by Farrah’s side yesterday when she went to be with the angels.

So – I don’t know about you, but anyone would be fortunate enough to have shared what Ryan and Farrah did, for as long as they did.

How about you?  What do you think?  Have you been fortunate enough to share the type of love, over the years, that Farrah and Ryan have?  If you have, be sure to tell your story here, right on the blog.  As we know, one of the things many lesbians lack are lesbian couple friends who model a beautiful, caring, committed love that all the world can see.  I didn’t say perfect love, but a real love, that has endured the test of time.

Even though there are many enduring lesbian couples out there, they are often invisible.  So, please, share your story.  You never know whose life you will change forever by sharing your truth!

Have a wonderfully Pride-ful weekend – see you soon!

Barb Elgin

Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW, Certified Singles Coach, is Coach Sappho: America’s Favorite Lesbian Love Coach.  Be sure to stop by Coach Sappho’s website today, take Coach Sappho’s ‘Luscious Lesbian Living and Loving Quiz’ and call Barb to set up a complimentary phone call to get the most out of your results.

©2009, Barb Elgin.  All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer: The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.

If you’ve been reading my recent posts, you’ve probably seen me referring to the lesbian dating scene as a jungle.  Now, I’m not being negative or trying to stereotype lesbians.  The truth is, no matter what your sexual orientation is, when you are single and you say you are tired of relationships that don’t last and ‘this time’ you’re going to find the partner you’ll spend the rest of your life with, it helps to know what is going on inside (and around) you, so you understand what to expect as you go through time with a partner.

Perhaps you’ve never realized it before, but did you know there are some very powerful chemicals in your brain that can ‘control you’, if you let them, when it comes to romance?  I am talking to you in this way because I think it’s very important to add some realism to balance these strong emotions, which always come with romance.

What is so helpful about having a love coach comes into play here: You need someone who is going to ‘be your head’ right now.  When it comes to love and partner selection, most of us are way too emotional.  Well, you say, why can’t I just rely on the opinion of good friends or family members?  Because they too are ‘too close to’ your situation to not have an agenda or two.  A love coach has no ulterior motive.

It’s a well known, researched fact that new, or young, love, is a very powerful experience, one that actually creates for some of us, a type of ‘temporary insanity’.

Read the rest of this entry »

“All spiritual growth is really about letting go of something. It’s not about gaining anything.“  – Rev. Michael Beckwith

I happened to see an Oprah ’summer rerun’ this afternoon.  The topic: finding one’s spiritual path.  Ahh, I treated myself – it was a pleasure actually sitting down and watching a show without distractions.  The guests included a panel of ’spiritual’ thought leaders including Rev. Michael Beckwith, Rev. Ed Bacon of a ‘progressive’ Episcopolian church in California and Elizabeth Lesser of the Omega Institute (gosh did I used to love looking at their catalogs!).

Below, and interspersed throughout this post, I’m going to quote what was said during the show, which Oprah has put up on her site summarizing the people’s stories shared, because one day she may take those words down and they are so powerful I want to always be able to look at them again.

Read the rest of this entry »

We were having a juicy discussion the other night on a conference call with members of Lez Rendezvous, our social club for single lesbians when the issue of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ came up.

Several of the women on the call were especially passionate (and seemingly knowledgeable) on the issue.  One woman made the comment that toppling ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’, in much the same way the military changed it’s policy towards racism, would be key to toppling other discriminatory practices in our society towards GLBT’s, such as same sex marriage.

She says that it was after the military banned discrimination based on race that other racist policies and laws started to be banned.  Another member on the call who is a constitutional law expert and former attorney, said she agreed.  Hmmm….

Now comes the news today that the Supreme Court won’t review the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy right now, and, of course, the Obama Administration is continuing to do nothing to help us (despite his ‘I’ll do something’ rhetoric during his election campaign).  In fact, news accounts say the administration is continuing to do NOTHING to stop the military from discharging military members who are gay.

So, says me to our readers:  as I’ve heard it said – yes, we are upset, and ‘rightly so’ but, since when do things come easy and when is life fair?  Life doesn’t work the way we want it to work, it works the way it works.

Yes, so many of us work to ‘make things more fair for more of us’ everyday and, thank goodness they do. My response to today’s news is this:  all of us – especially those most passionate about and those working most closely on the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell issue – need to step back, take a deep breath and re-strategize.

We’ve got to ’sell it’ better, that’s all.  That’s how this crazy ol’ world works!  Hang in there, get savvier and don’t stop.  We know it’s a ‘hard sell’ still when an organization can’t seem to see the ‘damage’ it’s actions is causing because it’s blinded by prejudice.  So far, no studies show gays serving in the military hurts morale or effectiveness.

I just heard on the news that there are several other cases that challenge the policy working their way up through the court system.

So – we’ve got to keep banging on the door.  Like we do with all the other issues.

I think I’ve heard it said on more than one occasion that most change happens slowly in an evolutionary, (versus ‘revolutionary’) way.  Keep educating and changing hearts, one-by-one.  Remember that, by the very example of living your own life with heart and authenticity, you are making a noticeable statement to others who don’t yet ‘get it’.

Even if no one opens the door for us, eventually, brick by brick, piece by piece, we will knock it down, just like the Berlin Wall…

TEAR DOWN THAT WALL!

Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW, Certified Singles Coach, is Coach Sappho: America’s Favorite Lesbian Love Coach.  Attract Mz. Right Summer Camp for Single Lesbians starts 6/23/09.  Register by midnight PST on 6/20/09 and save 25% off – click here to learn all the details.

©2009, Barb Elgin.  All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer: The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.