Should you write an online personal ad?
In last week’s post I introduced the topic of writing personal ads. The growth of online dating and social networking sites certainly offer single individuals seemingly unlimited opportunities for getting information out there about themselves to the masses.
Even better, if you join one or more services using some of the more sophisticated means of matching, you may meet with greater success finding someone you are both compatible with and, attracted to, however, before you feel that writing a personal ad is necessary to meeting a soulmate, I recommend you decide whether you even want to use your precious time using this particular search strategy.
In last week’s post I mentioned perception and hype. There is the belief by some online dating industry watchdogs that current online dating and social networking sites are promising more than they can deliver. I hear some say the sites are good for ‘hooking up’ (slang for transactional and/or sexual or, short term encounters).
I suspected that the younger set (say 18-25 or so) use online strategies with greater regularity and probably success than most older singles, although I was informed yesterday by a 21 year old female, who is in an exclusive, heterosexual relationship, that she and most of her friends, single and coupled, look at online dating as an ‘act of desperation’. So much for a very tiny, possibly unrepresentative sample! ;-]
I don’t know how prevalent or true any of these perceptions are, however, it is a fact that the internet dating industry is still very young. You can bet online dating companies will continue to innovate, expand and improve their services to singles. They’ll need to if they plan to survive. If so, perhaps the usefulness of online dating sites for more of us will improve in the months and years ahead.
However, in the meantime, if you are single right now and you are seriously looking for a life partner right now, depending solely on placing personal ads, via the internet or elsewhere, is probably not the most direct or smartest search strategy. And, I think that holds true for gay and straight singles.
That’s right! There are probably better, more reliable search strategies! So, if you decide to write a personal ad, that’s great, there is nothing wrong with that. Just remember that this strategy alone is not very likely to ‘be enough’. Just like the typical experiences I hear of those who launch into a search on multiple, well-known job sites, like Monster, Gaywork.com and Career Builder. Initiating the search is easy (and so is getting those lovely emails right in your inbox that the job site sends to you based on your preferences), however, many jobhunters find online searching to be only one of several things they must do to eventually land a real job.
So, should you write a personal ad? More important, I think, than should, is desire. Do you want to invest your precious time writing, posting and responding to, personal ads? Again, I don’t think it can hurt, particularly if you are deeply focused on making this strategy work for you.
Most importantly, I think that the more you know about the entire process, the more informed you will be at selecting the approach (or approaches) that work best for you. For example, are you aware of all of the current, available options for meeting a soulmate? Did you know that there is a continuum of most to least-likely places to meet singles that are potential soulmates for you?
Using a personal ad to find dates might be a great idea if you have already visited and/or used one or more online dating sites and you have already written an ad or two that are attracting to you the types of individuals you find appealing. Certainly, there are some potential advantages to internet dating and personal ad posting, such as:
- a seemingly greater pool of individuals to choose from (and get your ad out to)
- lower cost (as compared to joining dating or matchmaking services, attending in person singles events, joining singles clubs, etc.)
- enough information is often available for efficient sorting (sorting being an important singles skill you’ll want to learn more about)
- you choose the amount of anonymity you want
- it’s easy to control most aspects of the process
Do these ‘benefits’ appeal to you? Will they still appeal to you once you better understand the disadvantages of online dating? Lastly, do these comments hold true for couples who are now getting online to find other compatible couples for recreation, activism, etc.?
Stay tuned for my next post where I’ll discuss the potential downsides to online dating! And, be sure to click on ‘comments’ below and post your reactions, questions, etc. I do read and respond to them online!
Have a great Friday!
———-
If you are single or in a relationship and your vision includes forming and nurturing a long term, deeply satisfying life with another person, you will want to check out Coach Sappho?, a unique, ‘members only’ community for singles and couples who are ‘like-minded’ about creating authentic lives and relationships.
Coach Sappho? offers a number of convenient, fun, wisdom-packed events and opportunities for singles and couples who are open to collaborating with an experienced coach who can help them clarify a powerful vision for where they want their life to go and a plan to help them get there. If you’d like to learn more, click here.
Or, if you prefer, I offer an initial, complimentary, one-on-one, no obligation coaching meeting, where I invite you to begin building a ‘working’ relationship with me that will help you change your life in wondrous ways. Just email me and we’ll set up a time that is convenient for us to talk. In addition to the meeting, I also cover the cost of the phone call!
Tags: Committed Relationships, gay and lesbian, gay coach, gay dating, gay love, gay marriage, gay relationships, Internet Dating, lesbian coach, Lesbian Dating, lesbian relationships, online dating