Are You a Coach Sappho Woman?
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown of the nest.” - Pema Chodron
An amazing quote, don’t you think? When I saw it I immediately thought of you and Coach Sappho? and the journey we’ve embarked on together.
Perhaps this is the first time someone in your life has celebrated your very being in this way.
Perhaps this is the first time you’ve been told that the way you love really matters.
Perhaps this is the first time in your life you felt like…this is a community you want to be a part of!
This is a community that will hold you with ‘gentle strength’ in it’s loving arms as you go through all the stages of life and love.
However, don’t fool yourself: not everyone is meant to be a Coach Sappho? woman. Nor should every woman want to be. That’s right. It takes a woman of unique courage and vision to be a part of Coach Sappho?’s community.
How do you recognize a Coach Sappho? woman when you see her?
Coach Sappho? women…
- learn to commit to themselves first, BEFORE and DURING seeking a life partner as well as throughout the entire processes of dating and mating
- are gutsy, with class – for example, they are gentle yet strong or strong yet gentle, with themselves and in relationship to the world around them
- undertake a ‘balance the head with the heart’ dating process that helps them achieve their goal of marriage or some other public and legal form of relationship commitment they create and without coercion agree upon with their life partner
- are open to continuously learning and experimenting with ‘what works’ when it comes to creating and sustaining a deeply satisfying and lasting relationship with their life partner or wife
- believe they can, with another woman with similar values and skills, create and sustain a ‘modern’ marriage – one that is based upon equality, sustainability and deep fulfillment for both the couple and each individual in the partnership
- envision committing to one woman till ‘death do us part’ and understand what they are getting into BEFORE making a commitment to another woman (for example: before ‘marrying’ or otherwise ‘committing’ to another woman, you’ve thought through and agree to staying with this woman – vs. running – no matter what the potential challenges of a committed relationship with this woman are because, in the long run, you know too what the rewards are!)
- understand what commitment is and isn’t
- take care of their own sexual needs – ‘lesbian bed death’ is not a ‘chosen’ issue in her marriage!
- love being a part of a diverse, lesbian community, and is committed to being sure all of her interactions with others in the Coach Sappho community minimize lesbian drama!
- love having a good time, but are also serious about supporting each other’s success in love and life – Coach Sappho members avoid gossip, negativity, harsh/mean forms of humor, etc.
- are as supportive of helping each community member act in their best interests as they are in supporting their own best interests (for example, community members actively help – not sabotage – the success of the communities committed couples)
- use a ‘coaching’ or ‘teach them to fish, don’t give them fish’ communication style in helping themselves and other community members (meaning: while all of us have special gifts to share, we wait to be asked first OR we first ask for permission to provide AND the preference is that we most often take the approach of asking inspiring questions that help each woman or couple decide what to do because we trust that when a woman or couple is at a ‘decision-making’ point, only that individual woman or couple knows enough about themselves and their situation to be able to make a plan of action)
- love the study of love and relationships and are continuously open to improving their knowledge and skills in this area
- believe lesbian women need more visible role models, both single and coupled, and actively help Coach Sappho? address this issue through program development
- come from diverse backgrounds, yet find common ground and support via Coach Sappho?’s programs and events
- are women living ‘full out’, meaning they are always becoming more authentic and thus, may encounter resistance from family and friends OR they may decide to change their ‘families of choice’ to spend more time being with those who celebrate (rather than tolerate or reject) them
- understand the potential benefits to their own physical and mental health and the world’s health by taking the risk of living more authentically each day
- ‘get it’ that there is always a tension between the importance of taking a stand and highlighting sexual orientation or ‘labeling’ oneself versus the importance of worrying less about labels and mainstreaming oneself
Much, much more to come, I can assure you! I would say, though, that these are some great, initial ‘rules for playing’. What do you think?
So, today, be sure to take a few minutes out of your day to celebrate being you! And, if/when you are ‘thrown out of’ a proverbial ‘nest’ in your life, just realize WHY you chose the experience (even if it seems you didn’t). Just know that the ‘soul’ part of you, that part you can no longer suppress, is the REAL reason you are here.
The next time you feel little, powerless, fearful or unworthy, instead, try reveling in the ecstacy of expressing YOU as she truly is, in all her magnificence, right this moment! Yes the old ways may have been safer, but, were they really? Aren’t there ‘costs’ to ‘playing it safe’ as well? For example, remember how it feels to live small. How alive did you feel when you were living life that way? Think about it…
Yes, you need to, what I call it, balance your head and heart, reason and intuition. But most of us have been living too rationally, I’ll bet or from too much emotion, I’ll bet. Coach Sappho? helps women like yourself cultivate ‘the sweet spot’!
hehehehehehe…………
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