Exploring the financial implications of lesbian marriage
The question of whether or not to marry your lesbian life partner is one lesbian couples will be asking themselves in the days, months and years ahead. Whether you live in a U.S. State like California or Massachusetts or a country like Canada where the option of gay marriage is already there or you live in a state where ‘relationship recognition’ elements for gay and lesbian couples (like Maryland, where the governor just signed a law giving same sex couples some ‘domestic partnership’ rights), NOW is the time to start considering your vision when it comes to marriage BEFORE you do it, particularly when it comes to the financial aspects of legal marriage.
And, in true Coach Sappho style, we say that all of us need to consider checking in to see how ’balanced’ our heads and hearts are when it comes to love and money. Yes, of course ‘wedded bliss’ is Coach Sappho’s favorite romantic ideal, however it ‘pays’ (literally) to do your homework before you jump in to any relationship that includes long term legal effects.
Today I came across a very basic article looking at the issue…
from U.S News and World Report entitled
Marriages: It’s Financial Pros and Cons
Be sure to stop by and read it this holiday weekend. Yes, it’s short (I know you’ll like that – as it is, afterall - a holiday!) and yes, the article is akin to marriage fianances 101, but, the article will get you thinking in the direction you need to go versus sticking your head in the sand
With this article in mind, I think that the greater challenge for most couples is having an ‘equal power’ mindset when it comes to love and money. I not only run into women who are hopeless romantics who need to add more ‘head’ to their plans, I also know quite a few women who are too focused on the head and not enough on the heart, to the degree it prevents them from sharing real bliss with another woman. For the former, we usually point to female socialization and for the latter, perhaps there has been a past hurt or scarcity beliefs.
So, if you aren’t in a relationship why would you bother reading this article? Because it’s never too soon to begin planning your future. You are the expert when it comes to who you are and what you want. No one else knows your situation like you do. And for those of us who get clear BEFORE getting emotionally involved with another person, particularly those of us who intend to have a blissful relationship where we do enter into some form of ‘commingling’ of assets, we will stand a better chance of finding the balance between taking care of ourselves as well as taking care of our partner and our relationship.
Have a great 4th!
Barb Elgin
Tags: California gay marriage; gay marriage ruling in Califor, lesbian relationships