Conan O’Brien: A Class Act Even Though He Didn’t Get Exactly What He Thought He Wanted
“To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere…Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”
- Conan O’Brien, The Tonight Show, Friday 1/22/10
Wow! I just watched Conan O’Brien finish his last Tonight Show on NBC. I was touched by his parting words (which he then followed by playing the electric guitar while Will Farrell in a blond Lynyrd Skynyrd wig sang ‘Freebyrd’ ). Yesterday, I thought some of his skits, where he claimed he was ‘spending huge sums of NBC money’, were for real. The joke was on me!
Conan went out with class. He took the high road without giving much of his bargaining power away. On one hand, I don’t feel sorry for him – anyone receiving the amount of money, fame and notoriety he does shouldn’t be pitied. In addition, all of us know he will rise from the ashes somewhere and, NBC will most likely miss him (and maybe even regret his leaving).
What most touched me about Conan’s final words during the final minutes of this final show was the heart of his message…
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.
Wow! Truer, more philosophical words will never be spoken. For those of us who naively believe we can, with sheer will and effort, completely control our tomorrows, well, you know what Conan would say.
Case in point: Conan had an ongoing contract with NBC. However, as Conan learned, even a solid, legal contract can be broken, or, re-negotiated, as we have seen.
I think Conan’s heartbreak regarding the loss of the Tonight Show is similar to love. We can do everything in the world to make someone love us (or try to make them continue to love us). Surely, we think, if we are ‘beautiful enough’, or ‘wonderful enough’, as a husband, wife or partner, our partner’s devotion to us will continue. And, at least half of the time, it will.
But, we just don’t know, for sure, even if we get married and we promise each other forever. Particularly in today’s world, where we pay homage to lower values such as…
- distraction, endless opportunity/distorted ideas of beauty and temptation (airbrushed women online and in magazines, online social and dating networks, which are threatening many a relationship – just ‘trade in’ or ‘throw away’ your relationship and ‘order up’ a new, ‘better’ one)
- ‘over’ focus on exteriors (looks, youth, wealth, what you have rather than who you are)
- under focus on character and values (i.e.: commitment, deeper, lasting love), often to the detriment of what’s truly important, lasting and sustainable.
As angry or as sad as we get, it will not change the fact that sometimes, we must be ready to, as Conan says…
Accept that we are not going to get exactly what we thought we were going to get.
But, here’s the – positive – rub (experienced by Conan this week as he received amazing support from the world)…
When we accept change, loss or the unexpected, and, go with it, we can move forward and be open to whatever amazing things can happen for (and to) us.
Best wishes to you Conan! Enjoy some R&R time. I look forward to seeing what your next amazing comedy opportunity will be!
Barb Elgin
Coach Sappho’s Love Books Talk Series
Starts 1/28/10
http://www.coachsappho.com/help/bookclubinfo.php
Photo: Associated Press
Tags: acceptance, Conan O'Brien, divorce, grief, grief and bereavement, letting go, loss and change, love and loss, The Tonight Show