Experts weigh in on infidelity: biology is not destiny
Wow! The topic of infidelity has been in the news quite a lot recently. It was a big week in the sports world again, not due to the new major league baseball season, but because Tiger Woods spoke to a throng of reporters (and millions on TV) during pre-tournament events at the Master’s Golf Tournament in Georgia.
The gist of Tiger’s talk was apology after apology, much like the consequences many who cheat eventually face.
Recently, during The Larry King Show on CNN, Dr. Drew Pinsky, one of my favorite celebrity shrinks, and other experts, along with women who have been victimized by infidelity, weighed in on the subject.
Pinsky believes we are in a ‘period of re-evaluation’ as a society. He states we just came out of the 1960′s and 1970′s where it was okay to ‘do whatever you wanted, to make yourself happy’, even if it was destructive to yourself, your marriage, your spouse, your kids, etc.
Be sure to click here now to learn what the experts are saying. For example, one of my favorite experts, psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen, whose specialty is psychobiology, puts forth a theory that celebrities are always getting the pleasure center of their brain stimulated, like Tiger Woods.
The down side of all this pleasure, according to Amen, is that the pleasure center ‘wears out’ and requires more and more excitement to feel good. Perhaps these folks are more easily tempted to cheat to ‘up the ante’ or, ‘sensation-seek’.
Dr. Amen also reports that testosterone may be implicated in cheating as well. Meaning those men who received higher levels of testosterone in utero have longer 4th fingers than 2nd fingers and are more likely to cheat.
This finger hypothesis sounds eerily similar to the ‘who is lesbian’ study from a few years back that showed women with longer ring fingers than index fingers were more likely to be gay.
In fact, I even blogged about this topic awhile back. Somehow it just doesn’t seem fair (or does it?): a longer ring finger leads to extramarital affairs and/or lesbianism??? 
Let’s just hope folks don’t start to equate being lesbian with cheating. Ha!
Most importantly I like that Dr. Pinsky reiterated ‘genes are not destiny’. Yes, these chemical processes are real and, some of us may be more challenged than others to stay true to one person. So, perhaps that just means some of us can’t covet our neighbors like some of us need to get up from the table and walk away from that second piece of cake for dessert!
Dr. Helen Fisher, also a researcher on the subject, seemed to agree with Pinsky by saying, in a recent interview with Rutger’s University paper,
“Adultery can be compared to other harmful acts like drug or alcohol abuse, which can be controlled…The bottom line is, through research and different studies, we get to learn more about the various human conditions, and like drugs and alcohol, adultery can fall into this category. We, as people, have the ability to say no and overcome these obstacles.”
Hmmm…..more to come on this topic for sure.
Tags: affairs, fear of commitment, infidelity, Jesse James, Sandra Bullock, The Larry King Show, Tiger Woods