Gay widower experiences the importance and power of the words ‘husband’ and ‘wife’
On Facebook this morning, my bud Kathy Belge over at About.com shared the heart breaking, powerful, and oh-so-real life story of Jonny from Oregon. I decided to share his video with you today, because of his very powerful, sobering message.
If you are straight and, especially if you aren’t a strong advocate FOR marriage equality, or even if you don’t believe yourself in gay marriage, really imagine what it would be like to be ‘ignored’ or be so invisibly regarded in your time of greatest grief and loss.
Sadly, Jonny’s partner of seven years was murdered. This video, produced by Basic Rights Oregon, details what it has been like for Jonny to go through the real, tangible problems that survivors go through when a couple lacks legal ties in addition to the grief of losing that relationship.
Jonny shares that, as a result of his experience, it’s ever more clear to him that domestic partnership is NOT the same as marriage in terms of rights, respect and recognition, not only from governmental institutions but down to the EMT’s that may care for you in the ambulance when you are rushed to the hospital.
Using words like ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ make all the difference. Indeed, I can understand why gay couples who aren’t legally married use these terms…
Be sure to send Jonny your thoughts…
Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW, Certified Singles Coach, is Coach Sappho: America’s Favorite Lesbian Love Coach and Matchmaker. Be sure to stop by www.coachsappho.com today, take our FREE love quiz and find out how we can help your relationship thrive!
© Copyright 2010, Barb Elgin. All Rights Reserved. Feel free to forward this article as long as attribution remains intact.
Disclaimer: The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.