On Facebook this morning, my bud Kathy Belge over at About.com shared the heart breaking, powerful, and oh-so-real life story of Jonny from Oregon.  I decided to share his video with you today, because of his very powerful, sobering message.

If you are straight and, especially if you aren’t a strong advocate FOR marriage equality, or even if you don’t believe yourself in gay marriage, really imagine what it would be like to be ‘ignored’ or be so invisibly regarded in your time of greatest grief and loss.

Sadly, Jonny’s partner of seven years was murdered.  This video, produced by Basic Rights Oregon, details what it has been like for Jonny to go through the real, tangible problems that survivors go through when a couple lacks legal ties in addition to the grief of losing that relationship.

Jonny shares that, as a result of his experience, it’s ever more clear to him that domestic partnership is NOT the same as marriage in terms of rights, respect and recognition, not only from governmental institutions but down to the EMT’s that may care for you in the ambulance when you are rushed to the hospital.

Using words like ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ make all the difference.  Indeed, I can understand why gay couples who aren’t legally married use these terms…

Be sure to send Jonny your thoughts…

Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW, Certified Singles Coach, is Coach Sappho: America’s Favorite Lesbian Love Coach and Matchmaker. Be sure to stop by www.coachsappho.com today, take our FREE love quiz and find out how we can help your relationship thrive!

© Copyright 2010, Barb Elgin. All Rights Reserved. Feel free to forward this article as long as attribution remains intact.

Disclaimer: The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.

Bill Daley of The Chicago Tribune reports a celebrity gay couple has spoken out publicly in response to recent homophobic comments made at a college talk by 2008 presidential candidate Mike Huckabee.

During the talk, Huckabee said he believes gays shouldn’t be allowed to adopt.  He dissed gays as parents by complaining that when it comes to parenting children, ‘we aren’t dealing with puppies’.

Well now, there is much I can say about that comment, but, suffice it to say (more…)

When it comes to love relationships, we all seem to instinctively know that one of the keys to keeping love alive is continuing to keep it fun and playing well together.   Easy to do when things are going well, right?

However, what about when things aren’t going so swimmingly? This is truly where we separate the men from the boys, or, the happy versus unhappy couples.  You see, it seems how we handle the difficult moments in our relationship – when we are feeling not-so-playful or positive,  such as when we are frustrated, angry or feel some type of negativity towards our partner or our relationship – determines whether we (and our partner) will continue to feel positive about our relationship and emotionally invest in it…or not!

John Gottman coined this very useful idea, this visual of ‘kicking around the soccer ball’, after observing thousands of gay and straight couples in his notorious love lab.  Gottman discovered there is a big difference between…

• the couples who have ‘mastered’ handling conflict and
• those couples whose behavior, when it comes to negatively-charged situations, incites an escalation of the conflict, withdrawal in one or both partners, etc.

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I’m pleased to announce that Donna and I will be interviewing Lara Zielinsky, bisexual author of mature adult content lesbian and bi-women’s fiction, romance and erotica Thursday, April 29, 2010 from 7-8p ET on Coach Sappho’s Podcast.

Lara resides in the Orlando, Florida area.  Who knew we had such an interesting and accomplished author right in our midst!?!

Lara has been on a speaking tour promoting her new book

To Love and To Cherish: An Anthology of Lesbian Love and Marriage

And, she’s donating proceeds from sales of the book to the same sex marriage rights organization Marriage Equality USA.

Lara Zielinsky

Please be sure to join us Thursday, April 29th, 2010 at 7:00PM ET as we talk LIVE with Lara.  Coach Sappho’s Podcast is free to subscribers!

Wow!   The topic of infidelity has been in the news quite a lot recently.  It was a big week in the sports world again, not due to the new major league baseball season, but because Tiger Woods spoke to a throng of reporters (and millions on TV) during pre-tournament events at the Master’s Golf Tournament in Georgia.

The gist of Tiger’s talk was apology after apology, much like the consequences many who cheat eventually face.

Recently, during The Larry King Show on CNN, Dr. Drew Pinsky, one of my favorite celebrity shrinks, and other experts, along with women who have been victimized by infidelity, weighed in on the subject.

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Today, in recognition of current holidays such as Passover and Easter, Donna Tara Lee and I covered the topic of dealing with anti-gay relatives during the holidays.

We agree today’s show was one of our best (so far)!  Please feel free to listen and forward the link to anyone you wish.

We talked about the varieties of disapproval GLBT’s face, why people become anti-gay (it’s not them it’s their beliefs) and we talked a great deal about how to address this issue if it presents itself in your life.

We also touched on the serious issue of suicide and the holidays.  I offered a great resource called the Suicide Prevention Hot Line at 1-800-723-TALK.

Click here to listen now.

I just finished up my lunch break while watching yesterday’s Oprah Show. Her guest was none other than Rosie O’Donnell, who Oprah noted, ‘hasn’t been on her show in 13 years’.

I enjoyed the interview immensely. Rosie was her usual charismatic self. With a dollop of humility even. A friend of mine asked if she ‘talked bad about anyone’ as apparently that might have been some of the hype to get people to tune in.

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Wow – This week, while visiting my on site clients, I’ve been enjoying drives through the country listening to one of Dr. Daniel Amen’s popular books

Making a Good Brain Great

The implications of what Amen shares in this book are far reaching. No matter which area of life we are referring to – whether that be your career, your love life, your parenting skills or your relationship with yourself – if your brain isn’t working as great as it can, chances are you aren’t reaching your potential. And, as a result, all of these other relationships are negatively impacted as well, you can bet.

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