When it comes to love relationships, we all seem to instinctively know that one of the keys to keeping love alive is continuing to keep it fun and playing well together.   Easy to do when things are going well, right?

However, what about when things aren’t going so swimmingly? This is truly where we separate the men from the boys, or, the happy versus unhappy couples.  You see, it seems how we handle the difficult moments in our relationship – when we are feeling not-so-playful or positive,  such as when we are frustrated, angry or feel some type of negativity towards our partner or our relationship – determines whether we (and our partner) will continue to feel positive about our relationship and emotionally invest in it…or not!

John Gottman coined this very useful idea, this visual of ‘kicking around the soccer ball’, after observing thousands of gay and straight couples in his notorious love lab.  Gottman discovered there is a big difference between…

• the couples who have ‘mastered’ handling conflict and
• those couples whose behavior, when it comes to negatively-charged situations, incites an escalation of the conflict, withdrawal in one or both partners, etc.

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I’m pleased to announce that Donna and I will be interviewing Lara Zielinsky, bisexual author of mature adult content lesbian and bi-women’s fiction, romance and erotica Thursday, April 29, 2010 from 7-8p ET on Coach Sappho’s Podcast.

Lara resides in the Orlando, Florida area.  Who knew we had such an interesting and accomplished author right in our midst!?!

 

Lara has been on a speaking tour promoting her new book

To Love and To Cherish: An Anthology of Lesbian Love and Marriage

And, she’s donating proceeds from sales of the book to the same sex marriage rights organization Marriage Equality USA.

Lara Zielinsky

Please be sure to join us Thursday, April 29th, 2010 at 7:00PM ET as we talk LIVE with Lara.  Coach Sappho’s Podcast is free to subscribers!

Wow!   The topic of infidelity has been in the news quite a lot recently.  It was a big week in the sports world again, not due to the new major league baseball season, but because Tiger Woods spoke to a throng of reporters (and millions on TV) during pre-tournament events at the Master’s Golf Tournament in Georgia.

The gist of Tiger’s talk was apology after apology, much like the consequences many who cheat eventually face.

Recently, during The Larry King Show on CNN, Dr. Drew Pinsky, one of my favorite celebrity shrinks, and other experts, along with women who have been victimized by infidelity, weighed in on the subject.

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Today, in recognition of current holidays such as Passover and Easter, Donna Tara Lee and I covered the topic of dealing with anti-gay relatives during the holidays.

We agree today’s show was one of our best (so far)!  Please feel free to listen and forward the link to anyone you wish.

We talked about the varieties of disapproval GLBT’s face, why people become anti-gay (it’s not them it’s their beliefs) and we talked a great deal about how to address this issue if it presents itself in your life.

We also touched on the serious issue of suicide and the holidays.  I offered a great resource called the Suicide Prevention Hot Line at 1-800-723-TALK.

Click here to listen now.

I just finished up my lunch break while watching yesterday’s Oprah Show. Her guest was none other than Rosie O’Donnell, who Oprah noted, ‘hasn’t been on her show in 13 years’.

I enjoyed the interview immensely. Rosie was her usual charismatic self. With a dollop of humility even. A friend of mine asked if she ‘talked bad about anyone’ as apparently that might have been some of the hype to get people to tune in.

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How ironic that apparently, while Sandra Bullock worked on her Oscar-winning performance in ‘The Blind Side’ – she was being blindsided by her husband Jesse James!

The internet is aflutter today with gossip about the Bullock/James marriage and the apparent infidelity.  There are also reports of Jesse’s apology, which should say something to those who think infidelity is okay or make light of it.

What do you think about this story?  What does it say about the rest of us and relationships?

If the infidelity allegations are true I think it is indeed sad that another marriage is in trouble because someone, somewhere didn’t follow through on their promise to remain true to their partner.

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Therein lies the big question. Well, maybe for some of us. I know the way Carol Leifer was treated and/or perceived by her heterosexual female teammates on last night’s season premiere episode of Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice hit me funny.

It might be just me, but I wondered if the fact Carol got ‘thrown under the bus’ first had anything to do with subtle homophobic feelings other female contestants on her team felt towards her?

I’m not saying those feelings are big, intentional or even conscious.  But, perhaps they were there, subtly affecting the perceptions of the heterosexual women on Carol’s team.  Either way it was a hard position for all the women.  Perhaps Carol really was the ‘weakest link’?

I know that one tense conflict we were shown during the contest was Holly asking Carol to get out front to bring in to identify and bring in bigger donors and Carol not listening.  And Carol stating that Holly ‘didn’t want to break a nail’ to work harder.  Meow, cat fight!

One thing I noticed is this: Cyndi Lauper stuck to her guns and wouldn’t talk anyone down, including Leifer. True, blue gay friendly that’s Cyndi.

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As I write, I am on a live teleconference with the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce’s Women’s Business Initiative (WBI). This is a group I’ve had a relationship with since it’s inception.

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