In my early years as a coach and therapist I, like many other helpers, often looked for the more complicated, more dramatic or exotic reasons for a person’s unhappiness or distress.  Now that I’m ‘older, battle tested/scarred and wiser’ (hehehe), I know to initially ask my clients about those simple, but not-so-obvious issues, such as sleep, that might underlie one’s ‘presenting’ problem!

Sleep?  Sleep, you ask?  What’s sleep got to do with your stress levels or your partner’s insensitivity?

Well, it turns out that your sleep habits have A LOT to do with the quality of your daytime, i.e.: awake life!  (more…)

This past week has been busier than most around here.  So you know my head is really spinning!  Ha!  No, but seriously, I’ve accomplished so many meaningful goals on my journey this week, all in the midst of the news of the demise of Prop 8 and the rise of public support for marriage equality for all!  Life couldn’t be better…that’s me being as grateful as I can be, of course! 

Here’s a recap of this week’s highlights:

• I was interviewed by Rachel Hardy, LA’s Holistic Health Examiner, and quoted in her article on my reactions to the overturn of Prop 8 in California.
• Donna Lee and I interviewed filmmaker Lisa Marie Evans on Coach Sappho’s ‘GLBT Talk’ Podcast.  Be sure to check out the recording and Lisa’s website.  And, the good news is that Lisa is still taking video entries for her documentary until 9/1/10, so be sure to get yours in to her.  She’s going to give credit to everyone she puts into the film.
• I’m actively ‘heart hunting’ for single lesbians who are ‘ready for love’ across the U.S. and specifically in the Dallas, Texas and Maryland/Washington D.C./Virginia areas right now.  Don’t know if you are ready for a deeply satisfying, lasting relationship? It’s easy to take your ‘pulse’ on that right now.  Just click here to take my free quiz.

Lastly, getting back to the Prop 8/marriage equality issue, (more…)

Thanks to lesbiandating.net for sitting up and taking notice of all our good works over here at Coach Sappho!

Lesbiandating.net just named Coach Sappho the #2 blog of the

41 Best LGBT Lifestyles and Dating Blogs

This is fun stuff.  Be sure to surf on over to lesbiandating.net and check it out!  We’re also considered a ‘must read’.

Thank you to the folks at lesbiandating.net for giving us this recognition.

I happened to catch a piece on The Today Show this morning on ‘Gray Divorce’.  Gray divorce is defined as marriages that end ‘later in life’.   Older persons face some unique stresses when their relationship ends, such as worrying about growing old alone, negative financial changes, feeling less ‘attractive’ and figuring out how to enter a ‘less viable’ singles market.  Younger divorcees tend to have more options and more time to rebuild their love lives.

The ‘Gray Divorce’ discussion got me thinking about the topic of gay divorce, and more specifically, lesbian breakups and lesbian divorce.  I remember a few years back reading an article in a professional magazine about the ‘disenfranchisement’ lesbians go through when their relationship ends.

According to dictionary.com disenfranchise is defined as:

To be deprived of a franchise, privilege or right

As a survivor of gay divorce myself, (more…)

I’m excited to let you know I’ve started watching the Real L Word (including Natalie Garcia’s Showtime Real L Word video blog) and I can’t wait to start talking about all of the characters, and the drama, very soon…So stay tuned.

The topic of today’s post is closely related to lesbian love drama, btw. This week a study broke in the media on the ‘divorce virus’.  Divorce virus, you say?  Yes.

The study, led by James Fowler, is a retrospective longitudinal one, meaning they looked at data from other studies such as the Framingham Heart Study.  The study found that relationship breakups can be as contagious as the flu…

(more…)

Today’s post was donated to our blog by my friend and colleague Woody Derricks, who is the president of Partnership Wealth Management, based in Baltimore, Maryland.

Woody offers monthly teleseminars on a range of financial topics and he’s licensed in many states to offer financial assistance.  Partnership Wealth Management’s complimentary July Webinar will be held on Tuesday, July 13, 2010 (12 noon – 1:00pm EST) and will focus on Women and Investing.  Please call Loury Davis at 410-732-2733 for more details and to reserve your space today!

You can also check out Woody’s website by clicking here.

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Okay, here’s Woody’s article…

Market Pullback – Not a Financial Crisis

By Woody Derricks, President, Partnership Wealth Management
410-732-2633

On Thursday, May 6, 2010, the stock market, as measured by the S&P 500, expanded its recent pullback (more…)

A fascinating book has just come out that, for once, sheds a positive light on the state of marriage in America.  Hurray for a book that looks at love with the ‘half glass full’ for once.

Now, to be honest, I haven’t read the book yet.  Can’t wait to though.  In the meantime, a great review on Salon.com gives us a peek into the book, written by Tara Parker-Pope.  The book is called

For Better: The Science of Marital Unhappiness

According to the article and other reviews, Parker-Pope has done a great job of combing the research to lay certain myths to rest, especially the one that says 50% of all marriages are doomed to end in divorce.  Instead she reports that the percentage varies based on a number of factors, for example

“The 20-year divorce rate for couples who got married
in the 1980s is actually around 19 percent.”

Well now, that’s refreshing isn’t it?  Reminds me how often we take what we hear too literally.  Now one idea mentioned in the Times article did jump out and slap me in the face:  the results of research does suggest if you or your partner snores (and it bothers the other), it could create a big drain on your relationship.  Reminded me of catching part of the TV show ‘The Marriage Ref’ last week where the wife snored and wouldn’t admit it, even though it was obviously having a very detrimental effect on the couple’s relationship.

I hope you’ll read the book and comment here on your thoughts.

I especially look forward to any references to marriage equality and/or gay marriage in the book.  I know Parker-Pope makes a comment in the review about the high breakup rate in the early years, amongst gay and lesbian couples, which she seems to attribute not to anything wrong with gay couples, but to not having enough ties that bind.  Hmmm…..