As I reflect on yesterday’s tragic shootings in Tucson, Arizona, I find it brings up for me many questions.  How about you?  Questions such as:

• Can incidents like this be prevented in the future?
• What is the true, full story of what led this young man, Jared Lee Loughner, to do what he did?
• How much was the ‘verbal political vitriol’ present in today’s world (and spread more widely/rapidly because of today’s technology, and practiced by some of today’s politicians and entertainment figures) part of the cause, if at all?
• Do we have a failed mental health and/or criminal justice system?
• How do we reconcile the issue of ‘freedom to carry guns’ with the need to provide some level of protection?

I do know this: all of us have an emotional ‘system’ if you will, that includes the tool of anger.  And, if we look at the issue of evolution, it’s true that today is a time where many of us are ‘catching up’ to become more skilled in the healthy acknowledgement and expression of this important emotion.   We can’t, for example, go out and punch someone for a verbal disagreement like some of our ancestors did.

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So, if gays can fight and die for their country, why can’t they marry people they love?  -ABC’s Jake Tapper.

I’ve been taking a break from my blogging lately, if you hadn’t noticed. I apologize if you’ve missed me!

And, I just returned from Christmas celebrations, mostly enjoyed up north with family and friends. While I was away, the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) happened. I am amazed at how it all came together ultimately.  Aren’t you?  Of course, ask those central to making this happen and you will hear how ‘blood, sweat and tears’ it took to make DADT go away.

Driving home yesterday, I happened to listen in on a conservative radio station. Of course, they believe repeal of DADT is immoral.  And, those of us who believe the opposite believe DADT was what was immoral.  I know one thing:  I’m grateful we have a democratic President in office awhile.   I agree with Rachel Maddow, who recently said, ‘DADT caused massive damage to many lives.’

Apparently, President Obama, who has publicly stated he doesn’t believe in gay marriage, is even reconsidering that other very controversial anti-gay federal law – The Defense of Marriage Act.  He is even reconsidering gay marriage.  During an interview after signing the repeal of DADT he was asked by reporter Jake Tapper:

So, if gays can fight and die for their country, why can’t they marry people they love?

Yes, indeed.  Why can’t they?  I would reword his question to say: Why can’t gays and lesbians marry the person they love?  Lest someone start saying:  oh, they want to marry more than one person!?! 

If nothing else, the repeal of DADT reminds me how keeping the faith and keeping one’s ‘eyes on the prize’, even when it’s difficult to do so and defeat seems certain, often brings victory.   I am amazed…

In my early years as a coach and therapist I, like many other helpers, often looked for the more complicated, more dramatic or exotic reasons for a person’s unhappiness or distress.  Now that I’m ‘older, battle tested/scarred and wiser’ (hehehe), I know to initially ask my clients about those simple, but not-so-obvious issues, such as sleep, that might underlie one’s ‘presenting’ problem!

Sleep?  Sleep, you ask?  What’s sleep got to do with your stress levels or your partner’s insensitivity?

Well, it turns out that your sleep habits have A LOT to do with the quality of your daytime, i.e.: awake life!  (more…)

Thanks to lesbiandating.net for sitting up and taking notice of all our good works over here at Coach Sappho!

Lesbiandating.net just named Coach Sappho the #2 blog of the

41 Best LGBT Lifestyles and Dating Blogs

This is fun stuff.  Be sure to surf on over to lesbiandating.net and check it out!  We’re also considered a ‘must read’.

Thank you to the folks at lesbiandating.net for giving us this recognition.

I happened to catch a piece on The Today Show this morning on ‘Gray Divorce’.  Gray divorce is defined as marriages that end ‘later in life’.   Older persons face some unique stresses when their relationship ends, such as worrying about growing old alone, negative financial changes, feeling less ‘attractive’ and figuring out how to enter a ‘less viable’ singles market.  Younger divorcees tend to have more options and more time to rebuild their love lives.

The ‘Gray Divorce’ discussion got me thinking about the topic of gay divorce, and more specifically, lesbian breakups and lesbian divorce.  I remember a few years back reading an article in a professional magazine about the ‘disenfranchisement’ lesbians go through when their relationship ends.

According to dictionary.com disenfranchise is defined as:

To be deprived of a franchise, privilege or right

As a survivor of gay divorce myself, (more…)

As gay pride month draws to a close, I came across a really amazing story this morning:

The story of the rainbow flag.   Have you ever sat back and wondered:

• Where did the rainbow flag come from?
• Who created the rainbow flag?

I know I never really thought about it, but, there is a really cool, TRUE story about the rainbow flag’s birth, it’s creator, the events surrounding it’s creation, etc.

The rainbow flag’s creator is a man named Gilbert Baker and you’re going to love this seven minute video explaining it all.  Do yourself a favor and watch the gay ‘Betsy Ross’ as he tells the story…

Bill Daley of The Chicago Tribune reports a celebrity gay couple has spoken out publicly in response to recent homophobic comments made at a college talk by 2008 presidential candidate Mike Huckabee.

During the talk, Huckabee said he believes gays shouldn’t be allowed to adopt.  He dissed gays as parents by complaining that when it comes to parenting children, ‘we aren’t dealing with puppies’.

Well now, there is much I can say about that comment, but, suffice it to say (more…)