You may or may not know that I heartily support a national lesbian health organization called the Mautner Project.  I donate coaching scholarships to their silent auctions at Mautner events like Big Love, their annual Valentine’s Day dance.  And, I speak often of lesbian health issues, particularly the disparities that come about when we aren’t able to be ourselves with our healthcare providers (sometimes with good reason) and when the healthcare system is ignorant (or even, sometimes hostile) to our concerns.

When a client shares with me that they don’t think it’s safe to be ‘out’ to their provider(s), I encourage them to seek affirmative providers, but, often, there is a lack of affirmative providers in an area OR there is at least, a lack of underground wisdom in a community about which physicians, nurse practitioners, etc. to seek out.

So, organizations like Mautner Project are vital for our community.  They are on ‘the front lines’ educating providers and changing the system to be more welcoming as well as providing direct care support to lesbians in the Washington, D.C. area who are currently dealing with the real life challenges of living with cancer.

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As I talk with lesbian women from all over the world, we find it so much fun identifying together who they are and what they want.  The coaching exercises we do together to find out these juicy tidbits are often very liberating, especially for lesbians, because so many of us have held back so much of who we are from ‘the light of day’ for so long.

Some of my current and former clients only recently ‘came out of the closet’.  Some have even been married to a man for some length of time and are choosing to live a more authentic, ‘this is who I really am’ lesbian life for the first time.  And many others have identified, even rather openly, as lesbian for years but they…

• haven’t experience a deeply satisfying and lasting relationship with another woman
• they haven’t felt comfortable asking for what they want
• or they haven’t been aware of what they want romantically, for various reasons, most likely due to the socialization (or lack thereof) women and lesbian women receive when it comes to love, dating and relationships.

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But when gays are seen as the same as straights—as individuals; as normal, well-adjusted, human individuals—the argument changes altogether. The question becomes a matter of how we treat a minority with an involuntary, defining characteristic along the lines of gender or race. And when a generation came of age that did not merely grasp this intellectually, but knew it from their own lives and friends and family members, then the logic for full equality became irresistible…What California’s court did, then, was not to recognize a new right to same-sex marriage. It was to acknowledge an emergent cultural consensus.

…to see this movement we are a part of as a human endeavor to bring love and civility and family into lives that have sometimes been denied all of the above.  We were denied no love that night, and received so much support and kindness and affirmation that we’re still a little giddy. It was more than I ever expected, in a place I love, with people who love both Aaron and me.

- Andrew Sullivan

So is THIS what it’s like when you discover, and live, your career purpose (or some will say ‘when you discover and commit to a very personally and professionally meaningful career purpose?).  I am asking myself these questions today as I continue to be amazed at the excitement I am feeling these days.  Along with the feelings of confidence and ‘whee’, are the occasional fear-based thoughts such as ‘how in the world do I handle it?’, but when those ‘small’ thoughts attempt to creep into my heart and mind, I keep in mind beliefs such as a trust in myself and what I believe my larger mission to be and I keep in mind the larger fabric of why I am here!  And, for those of you who say fears are good, I say, yes, they are, when they direct us to better prepare for whatever it is we are creating.  When someone challenges you, or plays ‘devil’s advocate’ particularly if that someone has experience in whatever it is we are trying to accomplish, that’s a GOOD thing. 

How about you?  Are you living a ‘full out’ life?  However you define that?

I had an email conversation with a client this week that I thought I’d share.  She mentioned that she found she’d rather ‘live life as it comes’ and not get caught up in alot of goals or visions.  We went back and forth on that one, so, I will say to you:  Are you the kind of person who is thrilled by creating a grand vision and then drawing it to you OR are you more like my client?  My sense is that there is no one right answer here.  Perhaps having ‘no vision’ is in itself visionary???  I hope you’ll click on the comments link here and let us know what YOU think or feel (or both)…

Today’s post is simply the attention I pay to Andrew Sullivan’s upcoming Atlantic Montly article, ‘My Big Fat Straight Wedding’, where he talks about the landmark California marriage ruling and how getting married changed his life.  I was drawn to this article because I think Andrew so clearly describes the subtle and not-so-subtle transformation that occurs – in AND AROUND YOU - when you go from ‘being a gay couple’ to ‘becoming spouses like everyone else’.  (more…)

“One of the important principles I live by is the idea that you have to contemplate yourself as surrounded by the conditions you intend to produce. The difference between highly functioning people – the people Maslow called self-actualizers – and people who live with ordinary levels of consciousness is that the self-actualizers never put their intention on what they don’t want. They know that what you think about is what expands.”
- Dr. Wayne Dyer

So, here we are – you and I, coming together today.  Now, technically, we aren’t sitting down in front of each other, or, even speaking live and listening to one another’s voice or even instant messaging.  But, that is not what matters.  What matters, I  know deep in my heart, is that what we are doing here is forming a powerful, positive, connection between us for your greater good.

There is beautiful music that you and I can make together that you can’t create anywhere else.  Our relationship offers you something special that will inspire you to live the life your heart (instead of your ego) desires, because it is my intention to help you connect with the part of you that can give you what you need to create such a life.

My work, my legacy, my passion…is about offering you places…spaces…and faces, that support you for becoming your most magnificent self.  Period.  And, that is why I want to get to know you and why you’ll want to get to know, and hang around with, me.

HINT: This site is a blog.  That means it is a place where we can talk.  I will post lots of entries, sometimes daily.  The point of the posts is simply to create an ongoing dialogue of health, wellness, prosperity and fun.  A dialogue that creates an intimacy that…

• helps us build bridges by identifying the life-affirming and respectful values all of us can agree upon, in spite of our differences
• inspires us to enjoy discussions that help us live, love and work smarter
• reminds us to partake of discussions that follow abundant mottos such as, “givers gain” and “in our diversity lies our strength”

One of the most powerful ways I know to create what I want is by planting myself in the fertile soil of people, ideas and activities that help me be who I most want to be and do what I most want to accomplish.  That is what I sincerely hope this blog will help you do.  All you need to do is water the soil and spread some sunshine by showing up and participating.  Then, watch the quality of your life grow, like a beautiful flower.

So, please get involved by commenting on my posts.  You can do this whenever you want on any post by clicking on the ‘comments’ link at the bottom of each post),  What’s cool about this is that by publicly commenting, others will see your posts and be encouraged to offer wisdom or information that can help you and even the rest of our readers.

Or, if you’d like to keep it private, between you and I, call or email me.  Either way is fine.

So, please, feel free to click on the ‘comments’ link below and post or tell me by emailing me what you want to read and hear about.  I’m all ears (and eyes)!!!

Don’t be shy, send me a line and let me know what you need, I want to help you get it.

Barb Elgin