You know, it never ceases to amaze me that there are individuals and groups in our country who claim, on one hand to be about love, humanity and equal rights, but then act just the opposite. I can understand the motivation of some of the bloggers out there who are exposing the many forms of hypocrisy or, ‘inauthenticity’ some of these individuals, groups and/or organizations are caught up in.
Now, before you go and think I’m being ‘preachy’, let me just say, some of us are just more inauthentic more often! None of us is perfect.
I know that the religious right believes they are truly doing ‘the right thing’ or ‘being authentic’ by denying me my authenticity/equal rights. But they believe they are doing the right thing, according to their religious belief. As such, their influence and power should be limited to the practice of their religion, and their religous community, just as I have the same freedom and right to do the same.Â
I don’t get to tell someone else how they should believe and practice their faith and vice versa. I don’t bother them. I don’t try to get laws passed to deny them their equal rights to live their life as they wish. How do I know for sure if they aren’t being authentic? And, how do they know, for sure, that they aren’t denying me my right to live my truth? What if they are wrong? What do you think god would think of that?
Ultimately, aren’t we supposed to be a democratically diverse or pluralistic society that has defined a true separation between church and state??? Since when is denying someone their equal rights under the law loving, humane or democratic? What does either of our religious beliefs have to do with civil rights? I know, the relationship gets complex. I just heard on the nightly news that, while we say we are a country that values the separation between church and state, a majority of Americans would not vote for a candidate that claimed no religious practice.
I really don’t blame the religious right entirely. How about the great, vast ‘middle’ of America who is supposed to be more fair-minded and just than Christian Fundamentalists (sorry, but it’s true)? Where are the Bill Clinton’s of the world when it comes time to put your money where your mouth is?Â
Sorry Bill, but when it came down to it in the mid-1990’s when you had a chance to be fair, you instead fell prey to the silly fears of a small, yet powerful and vocal minority, who want to walk around believing that gays in the military just can’t exist, somewhat like the Iranian president blabbered on about last week. Instead of drawing a rational, loving and authentic line in the sand you played politics and signed ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’…What can I say? A lesbian never forgets…. 
And, the coming presidential election? I hear that both democratic front runners, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, are keeping a ’safe distance’ from me too.Â
I know it sounds like I have a bad attitude but I have a hard time getting excited about any of the candidates when I know that none of them is truly looking out much for me. Yes, it’s a bit exciting to think that perhaps we’ll have a democratic president for a change and, perhaps a woman.
However, I don’t have very high hopes that it will much matter. Then, another more hopeful side of me says that I’ve got to believe that, while I can’t ‘get what I want exactly when I want it’, a democratic president will have a positive impact for me between 2008-2012 in ways that a republican president won’t.
Okay, so I finished my rant! Let me tell you the main message I wanted to offer today: Next November anti-gay elements in the State of Florida will try to join the cadre of other states who’ve added a ‘marriage protection’ amendment to the books.Â
This past week I was introduced to an organization here in Florida who is working to throw out that nasty, ‘Marriage Protection’ Amendment these unloving forces in Florida are advancing.
I received a call last week from Patricia Ireland, a nationally-known activist who used to head up the National Organization of Women (NOW).
What a pleasure talking with her one-on-one! I have to say: how nice to be noticed! Patricia is asking our help in supporting an organization called Florida Red and Blue. Honestly, I’d never heard of Florida Red and Blue until about a week ago. That’s a shame because they are fighting for my rights as a Floridian.
So, if you are a Floridian (and even if you aren’t), please be sure you go to Florida Red and Blue’s site ASAP and make a donation to help the cause and spread the word. This is not the time to get complacent! Apparently, there are some very strong forces (and deep pocketbooks) here in Florida coming together to try and prevent you and I (and other same sex couples) from marrying.
I’m not a legal expert, but I think that if these anti-gay forces have their way and the state of Florida passes such an amendment it will be doubly difficult for us to change that state of affairs. Imagine – living in a state where both gay adoption and gay marriage are illegal.
If you aren’t a Floridian, why should you care? Because the ‘relationship rights’ battle for gay and lesbian love is now being fought out in the states. We need to help each state fight back those who want to deny us our human rights. There are already too many other states with such amendments on the books.
Those who want to deny me my rights, that’s bad enough. But what they also don’t realize is that they would also be harming those hundreds of thousands of heterosexual, unmarried but partnered, seniors in Florida who are in committed relationships but choose not to marry because doing so would strip them of the social security benefits they’ve spent a lifetime earning and send them to the poor house. That’s right: In addition to the impact this horrible amendment would create for gays, if this amendment becomes law, it will even impact our ability to establish domestic partnership arrangements, gay and straight.
Now is the time to ally with an organization such as Florida Red and Blue. You can help them fight for you while there is still time. Don’t wait!
Wow – Donna and I were blown away on our radio show last night while interviewing Janice Langbehn. If you aren’t yet a subscriber to Coach Sappho’s podcast, I would highly encourage you to become one, just so you can hear Janice’s heartfelt story.
Barb Elgin, (AKA 'Coach Sappho'), MSW, LCSW (Florida), is a Certified Singles Coach, dating and relationship coach, with over 20 years of professional experience. She has received specialized training in relationship coaching with the Relationship Coaching Institute, as well as personal, corporate and business coach training with Coachville.
