Whether you are single, dating or coupled, it’s time for YOU to begin the journey to experiencing more of what you want in your love life!   To help you continue your journey to a more amazing love life, I want to invite you to an exciting new tele-seminar I’m leading called

Coach Sappho’s ‘Secrets to Creating the Love Life You Deserve’ Tele-Discussion

You see, I’m sure you know success in anything requires more than reading a book, taking a quiz or, even chillin’ and having fun.  Success happens when we learn not only what works, but when we learn how to DO what works. Easier said than done, right?  All of this can seem pretty daunting, especially when it comes to love and relationships.

It’s been quite busy around here, necessitating my decision to change the time and day of Coach Sappho’s podcast.   I’ve moved Coach Sappho’s podcast to the first and third Thursdays of each month at 4p ET.  Please make note of it.  If you’re already a podcast subscriber, you’ll get a show reminder by Wednesday.

We hope you can join us during the live shows, but, if you can’t, be sure to pick up your free copy of Coach Sappho’s Podcast for listening when it’s right for you.  All podcast subscribers get free copies of all of our podcasts.

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I, and most lesbians, face the proverbial ‘catch 22′ when it comes to getting adequate, competent health care.  If we come ‘out’ to our providers we take the chance it may negatively affect the treatment we’re given and if we’re not ‘out’ to our providers it may negatively affect the treatment we receive.

However, after reading an excellent article by Bonnie Osborn in the September 2009 issue of Jane and Jane Magazine entitled, ‘Feeling the Pinch: Health care inequities result in financial penalties for lesbian couples’, I was reminded that health ‘care’ is only one problem lesbians face in our current health care system.

Did you know lesbian couples are also penalized economically by the way our current health care system is set up?  And that this penalizing is repeated and compounded?

For example, even though two of my sisters stay at home and don’t work, they have health care through their husband’s employers.  And, even though another sister works, her husband stays home and receives full ’spouse’ benefits (including health care, life insurance, etc.).  And, I’m not even talking about all the children they have – eight between the three of them – who are covered on these various health care plans as well. (more…)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the bottom line for lesbians…

What does it take to thrive in today’s world as a lesbian woman, single or coupled?

I define thrive as being able to be oneself enough in one’s life so that, if you are a lesbian, you celebrate your sexuality.  You don’t hide who you are.  And that authenticity extends to you and your life in general.

Thriving also means abilities to…

• handle adversity, that is, deal with and rise above all of life and love’s challenges, as you encounter them (and you will)…
• address dating and love relationship issues with skill and confidence (instead of avoidance, false bravado or destructive conflict)
• prevent future problems as best as you can by the way you live (and love) today
• actually become more authentic, loving and strong as a result of dealing with the challenges of being gay

If you are single, you have enough worth to take your time to get clear who you are and what you want, need and require in a love partnership and you only give your heart to another woman who also loves herself enough to be able to love another person, over time, with actions, and when it’s not just based on good feelings at that moment.

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I don’t know about you, but this November, I envision you and I meeting IN PERSON for perhaps the first time!  That’s right.  Coach Sappho is providing you with an amazing travel adventure where you can…

• travel in an ‘eco-friendly’ manner on a modern cruise ship with hundreds (perhaps thousands) of lesbian women
• talk with me, IN PERSON, about new and exciting ways to ‘liven up your lesbian love life’
• help out victims of Hurricane Katrina
• de-stress and spend some quality time, unplugged from everyday life, with yourself and/or your partner (I’m planning some really ‘cool’ meetings for singles only and couples only that you will want to attend I’m sure!)
• enjoy lots of great food, entertainment, etc.

Sounds awfully luscious and juicy to me, how about you?

Ever since I invited Shannon Wentworth, CEO and founder of the lesbian cruise company, Sweet, to Coach Sappho’s podcast last year, I knew Shannon had a grand vision.  You’ve probably noticed her and Sweet’s presence all over the internet and Sweet sponsors many lesbian events, such as the Dinah, just held a couple of weeks ago in Palm Springs, California, at the Riviera Hotel.

Well, what Shannon has been up to is encouraging lesbians far and near to take her caribbean cruise this coming November.  I hear the ship holds over 1900 so that’s a boatload of lesbians!  The cruise will last 7 days, ship out of New Orleans and traverse the western caribbean.

In addition to the usual amazing stuff you can do on a cruise, Shannon has many other innovative things happening on her cruise which you won’t find on most, including the opportunity for cruisers to ‘give back’ by doing some Katrina rebuilding in New Orleans before the cruise takes off and some great workshops, perhaps even by people like moi! 

If you are going to attend, be sure you let them know upon registration that Coach Sappho sent you!  And, if you are going to register (or if you already have), please email me and let me know.  If we have a party of at least 10 ladies on the ‘Coach Sappho’ contingent, I’ll definitely attend and, we will get some group goodies, courtesy of Shannon.

Anchors away, my love, anchors away…

You may or may not know that I heartily support a national lesbian health organization called the Mautner Project.  I donate coaching scholarships to their silent auctions at Mautner events like Big Love, their annual Valentine’s Day dance.  And, I speak often of lesbian health issues, particularly the disparities that come about when we aren’t able to be ourselves with our healthcare providers (sometimes with good reason) and when the healthcare system is ignorant (or even, sometimes hostile) to our concerns.

When a client shares with me that they don’t think it’s safe to be ‘out’ to their provider(s), I encourage them to seek affirmative providers, but, often, there is a lack of affirmative providers in an area OR there is at least, a lack of underground wisdom in a community about which physicians, nurse practitioners, etc. to seek out.

So, organizations like Mautner Project are vital for our community.  They are on ‘the front lines’ educating providers and changing the system to be more welcoming as well as providing direct care support to lesbians in the Washington, D.C. area who are currently dealing with the real life challenges of living with cancer.

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As I talk with lesbian women from all over the world, we find it so much fun identifying together who they are and what they want.  The coaching exercises we do together to find out these juicy tidbits are often very liberating, especially for lesbians, because so many of us have held back so much of who we are from ‘the light of day’ for so long.

Some of my current and former clients only recently ‘came out of the closet’.  Some have even been married to a man for some length of time and are choosing to live a more authentic, ‘this is who I really am’ lesbian life for the first time.  And many others have identified, even rather openly, as lesbian for years but they…

• haven’t experience a deeply satisfying and lasting relationship with another woman
• they haven’t felt comfortable asking for what they want
• or they haven’t been aware of what they want romantically, for various reasons, most likely due to the socialization (or lack thereof) women and lesbian women receive when it comes to love, dating and relationships.

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I’m sitting here, writing to you, enjoying one of those glorious Florida sunsets.  We’ve had another very busy and interesting week here at Coach Sappho.  Here’s a couple of highlights…

QUICK COACHING TIP: I was talking with a client recently about her vision collage.  Vision collaging is alot of fun and often results in ‘life altering’ realizations for many of my clients.  This client completed her first collage about six months ago.  We were talking about implementing the vision in this collage and she happened to mention making more collages.  I asked her if her vision had drastically changed from six months ago.  She said she didn’t think so.  Here’s how I responded to her:

“Your vision collage only needs to be done at most once a year!  After that you live it.  This can include making it the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you look at before you go to sleep (in fact I highly suggest you do so).  When you continue to create more collages you will only get more of the same: more collages, possibly even conflicting visions.  Either way, this is not the best way to manifest your original vision…”

You see, if you keep ’starting over’ you don’t get very far.  Sometimes starting over is a way to resist moving forward.  This is also known as ’spinning your wheels’.

COACH SAPPHO INTERVIEWED FOR WATERMARK’S VALENTINE’S ISSUE: On a different, but related note, I had a great time the other day talking about lesbian love and romance with Steven Blanchard of the Watermark, Central Florida’s gay paper.  Steve titled the interview…

A minute with Barb Elgin, Lesbian Relationship Coach

The interview was short, but packed with tidbits such as…

• differences between gay and lesbian couples
• why we do the ‘U-Haul’ dance and what we can do to stop it
• secrets to finding the woman of your dreams
• keys to a successful relationship
• why opposites sometimes attract (and stay attracted)

Be sure to pick up the Watermark to read article in print if you’re in the Orlando area or, if you aren’t, no problem, click here to read it online!

SMART WOMAN FROM COACH SAPPHO’S COMMUNITY OFFERS HER ANALYSIS OF DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES FOR PRESIDENT: Several community members have been writing me regarding their concerns about the presidential elections coming up.  One thought that has stuck out for me is this one, sent by a pretty darn smart member of Coach Sappho’s community:

“It just ocurred to me that you might have some friends who are willing and able to contribute to Hillary Clinton’s campaign.  I’m not above pleading for their help.  Hillary is in a tough struggle against a well financed group who do not want to have a WOMAN in the White House in any other position than First Lady!  Hillary is the best one for the job, in my humble opinion.  Hillary is a PROVEN advocate for women and children over the past 35 years.

The link:   www.hillaryclinton.com/contribute/3UHQ”

Have a super weekend!

Barb Elgin
http://www.coachsappho.com/valentinesparty.html
Coach Sappho’s Valentine’s Tele-Party
Learn THE ONE and ONLY Secret You Need to
Know to Enjoy this Valentine’s Day!
Prizes for participants!
10% of each registration will go to Freedom to Marry