But when gays are seen as the same as straights—as individuals; as normal, well-adjusted, human individuals—the argument changes altogether. The question becomes a matter of how we treat a minority with an involuntary, defining characteristic along the lines of gender or race. And when a generation came of age that did not merely grasp this intellectually, but knew it from their own lives and friends and family members, then the logic for full equality became irresistible…What California’s court did, then, was not to recognize a new right to same-sex marriage. It was to acknowledge an emergent cultural consensus.
…to see this movement we are a part of as a human endeavor to bring love and civility and family into lives that have sometimes been denied all of the above. We were denied no love that night, and received so much support and kindness and affirmation that we’re still a little giddy. It was more than I ever expected, in a place I love, with people who love both Aaron and me.
- Andrew Sullivan
So is THIS what it’s like when you discover, and live, your career purpose (or some will say ‘when you discover and commit to a very personally and professionally meaningful career purpose?). I am asking myself these questions today as I continue to be amazed at the excitement I am feeling these days. Along with the feelings of confidence and ‘whee’, are the occasional fear-based thoughts such as ‘how in the world do I handle it?’, but when those ‘small’ thoughts attempt to creep into my heart and mind, I keep in mind beliefs such as a trust in myself and what I believe my larger mission to be and I keep in mind the larger fabric of why I am here! And, for those of you who say fears are good, I say, yes, they are, when they direct us to better prepare for whatever it is we are creating. When someone challenges you, or plays ‘devil’s advocate’ particularly if that someone has experience in whatever it is we are trying to accomplish, that’s a GOOD thing.Â
How about you? Are you living a ‘full out’ life? However you define that?
I had an email conversation with a client this week that I thought I’d share. She mentioned that she found she’d rather ‘live life as it comes’ and not get caught up in alot of goals or visions. We went back and forth on that one, so, I will say to you: Are you the kind of person who is thrilled by creating a grand vision and then drawing it to you OR are you more like my client? My sense is that there is no one right answer here. Perhaps having ‘no vision’ is in itself visionary??? I hope you’ll click on the comments link here and let us know what YOU think or feel (or both)…
Today’s post is simply the attention I pay to Andrew Sullivan’s upcoming Atlantic Montly article, ‘My Big Fat Straight Wedding’, where he talks about the landmark California marriage ruling and how getting married changed his life. I was drawn to this article because I think Andrew so clearly describes the subtle and not-so-subtle transformation that occurs – in AND AROUND YOU - when you go from ‘being a gay couple’ to ‘becoming spouses like everyone else’. (more…)
Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW, Certified Singles Coach, is a lesbian dating and relationship expert and matchmaker.
