It’s been quite busy around here, necessitating my decision to change the time and day of Coach Sappho’s podcast.   I’ve moved Coach Sappho’s podcast to the first and third Thursdays of each month at 4p ET.  Please make note of it.  If you’re already a podcast subscriber, you’ll get a show reminder by Wednesday.

We hope you can join us during the live shows, but, if you can’t, be sure to pick up your free copy of Coach Sappho’s Podcast for listening when it’s right for you.  All podcast subscribers get free copies of all of our podcasts.

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In my travels, I often meet some really amazing women doing incredibly good ‘works’.  Below is a special request from one of them.  Her name is Wendy Payne and, as part of earning her doctorate, she is researching the effects of marriage on the health and wellness of lesbians.

Wow – what great news!  You know this topic is something I write about often and I’d like to thank Wendy for choosing to study lesbians who are married.  I’m sure her work will add to the growing body of research showing that gay marriage supports a more successful, healthy (not just ‘just’) society.

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I, and most lesbians, face the proverbial ‘catch 22′ when it comes to getting adequate, competent health care.  If we come ‘out’ to our providers we take the chance it may negatively affect the treatment we’re given and if we’re not ‘out’ to our providers it may negatively affect the treatment we receive.

However, after reading an excellent article by Bonnie Osborn in the September 2009 issue of Jane and Jane Magazine entitled, ‘Feeling the Pinch: Health care inequities result in financial penalties for lesbian couples’, I was reminded that health ‘care’ is only one problem lesbians face in our current health care system.

Did you know lesbian couples are also penalized economically by the way our current health care system is set up?  And that this penalizing is repeated and compounded?

For example, even though two of my sisters stay at home and don’t work, they have health care through their husband’s employers.  And, even though another sister works, her husband stays home and receives full ’spouse’ benefits (including health care, life insurance, etc.).  And, I’m not even talking about all the children they have – eight between the three of them – who are covered on these various health care plans as well. (more…)

Happy Monday to you!  I’m just back from my travels to spend time with the ‘Just Us’ Gang and Daytona Beach Pride.   Be sure to check back on the blog as I will be sharing more this coming week about the event, including announcing the winners of Coach Sappho’s Daytona Beach Pride Contest.  Thanks again to the very giving Daytona area businesses who donated prizes for the contest!  I’ll be posting their names too, real soon.

Today’s post is a lovely one, sent to me by my colleague Souldancer.  As I share today’s post I am reminded of London’s recent decision to hold a ’stop and smell the roses’ sort of day.

My post today includes an article about a physician from Tokyo who has been sharing his wisdom on living a long and happy life.  It seems he may know a few things about the topic:  he’s almost 98 years old and still working!

I hope you will take a few moments to read the article.  It gave me pause as I considered ‘common’ medical wisdom.  This 98 year old physician makes some ‘extraordinary ordinary’ suggestions worth considering.

For me, the biggest ‘golden nuggets’ or my takeaways based on the doc’s article (and life) is to stay busy and active doing what you love – mentally, physically, socially, etc.  Keep your mind and body engaged in life.  And, eat less and move more.

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You may or may not know that I heartily support a national lesbian health organization called the Mautner Project.  I donate coaching scholarships to their silent auctions at Mautner events like Big Love, their annual Valentine’s Day dance.  And, I speak often of lesbian health issues, particularly the disparities that come about when we aren’t able to be ourselves with our healthcare providers (sometimes with good reason) and when the healthcare system is ignorant (or even, sometimes hostile) to our concerns.

When a client shares with me that they don’t think it’s safe to be ‘out’ to their provider(s), I encourage them to seek affirmative providers, but, often, there is a lack of affirmative providers in an area OR there is at least, a lack of underground wisdom in a community about which physicians, nurse practitioners, etc. to seek out.

So, organizations like Mautner Project are vital for our community.  They are on ‘the front lines’ educating providers and changing the system to be more welcoming as well as providing direct care support to lesbians in the Washington, D.C. area who are currently dealing with the real life challenges of living with cancer.

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I’ve created and now launched a wonderful new community for couples who value deeply satisfying, lasting relationships called

Lez Be Together

We’ve been talking about it’s birth during meetings of Coach Sappho’s Couples Circle for months now and, I’ve finally gotten it together enough to put it out there.

Lez Be Together is free, all the way, and it’s for anyone who values deeply satisfying, lasting love relationships.  Lez Be Together also supports couples who recognize how improving one’s relationship with one’s romantic partner usually contains gems for helping us improve other important relationships in our lives, including parent-child relationships, sibling relationships, family relationships, work relationships, etc.

Lez Be Together has a boatload of online opportunities for you to celebrate your relationship, strike up discussions that enthrall you on the subject, connect with other like-minded couples who also want to create a great relationship and much, much more!

Simply said, I can’t wait for you to check it out.

Just click here to learn more.  Enjoy…

As I sit here watching America’s Biggest Loser (wow, it’s amazing watching the human transformations happening on this show), I received some important, closely-related info I thought you might want to know about:

Did you know we are smack dab in the middle of the Sixth Annual National LGBT Health Awareness Week? That’s right – April 6th-12th!  Before I inundate you with questions or suggestions about what you did to be healthy today (because who needs that ’stress’), instead I’ll simply suggest you…

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As Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, I thought I’d share my ‘heart thoughts’ on the single most important thing you can do today to celebrate the holiday…

Thank yourself and be grateful for YOU!

That’s right!  Take some time today to thank yourself for all that you are and all that you do.  We live in a culture that tends to be so judgmental and/or ‘externally’ focused.  We live in a world that too often values how much we make, how big or modern a home we live in, how much we ‘go all out’ in celebrating, etc.

Now, externals aren’t all bad, mind you.  I too am of the belief that material abundance and inner abundance can go ‘hand-in-hand’.

I hope you’ll take a few minutes to realize all you do for others.  I hope you’ll reflect upon all that’s ‘right’ and ‘good’ about you.  And I hope you’ll think about all the wonderful characteristics that make up you.  Your core values, your strengths, your uniqueness and how you positively impact the world.

This is not a selfish, mediate on your navel suggestion.  Taking care of you (the golden goose) is vital to continuing to lay those golden eggs!  This is ESPECIALLY important if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered (or intersexed, for that matter), because society doesn’t fully yet ‘get’ our value to the whole and, instead, often tries to take away our joy.  Don’t let them! 

Just because some people still have ‘issues’, INSIDE OF THEM (not you) regarding gender and sex, that doesn’t mean YOU have to take on their problems or burdens.

So, don’t lose ‘you’ in the process of today’s events.  There are many ways to ‘lose you’ today.  However, I won’t even list them here, because words have power.  Instead I want you to envision the day you desire and then, go forth with your day.  Period! 

As you are challenged to stay WITH your vision of a perfect day, just remember the ‘voice of Coach Sappho’ inside your head and heart, gently encouraging you back on YOUR path…

Part of your perfect day vision probably includes remembering to do at least a couple of the daily routines you participate in that keep you well, such as exercise, meditation, prayer, making love (like how I put that right next to prayer!?!), even some good ‘ol portion control or, at a minimum, eating small portions of the most ‘fattening’ stuff, etc….

And let me know how doing all of this impacts the Thanksgiving you experience!  Post your thoughts and feelings about it all right here on the blog.

Lastly, if you are despairing today, take a moment and read the words Orlando realtor and colleague, Danny Veal, sent me in a Thanksgiving email card today.  What a positive ‘reframe’ indeed, so, thank you! Danny…

Thoughts for Thanksgiving

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary, because it means you’ve made a difference. It’s easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

Have a wonderful day!

Barb Elgin
Founder/CEO
Coach Sappho?
Inspiring healthy and fulfilling
lesbian dating and mating!