As I’ve coached dozens and dozens of lesbian women over the years, it has occurred to me that for many (I’d like to say ‘some’ but then, maybe I’d be deluding myself!), the process of reaching out and getting some good ol’ dating or relationship coaching (even while knowing it could make a dramatically positive difference in one’s life), is – as one of my mentors would say – a daunting, scary or, even radical, idea…

I hope in this post to explain to you why it is worth considering the perhaps ‘radical’ idea of ‘trying some love coaching’…

Let me begin with those who are at least somewhat ‘warmed up’ to the idea.  Perhaps you are someone who has gotten over the initial hump – you’ve gotten results in the past from getting some coaching or expert help in some life area – and you’ve taken a peek at some of what we’ve been talking about here on Coach Sappho’s blog and on Coach Sappho’s website.

Or, perhaps you’ve even furthered your curiosity by ‘sampling’ some of what I suggest such as…

• Sticking a toe in the water and signing up for Coach Sappho’s ‘Luscious Love’ Quiz, which is, by the way, free, easy to sign up for and quick to complete. I’m sure if you have signed up and, even better, taken the quiz, you’ve found out the water isn’t too cold AND you’ve gained something from the experience.  Less painful even, than having your temperature taken (by mouth, of course!).  
• Wading into the pool by joining a free resource such as Lez Be Together, our community for lesbian couples and individuals who desire deeply satisfying, lasting relationships.  Or, signing up for free updates from Coach Sappho’s Blog.
• Diving in by hiring me as your coach or, if you are single, joining our premiere social club

If this is you, congratulations.  You are already experiencing the results of investing in you and your happiness.  My advice to you is to: take the next step!  However you define that…if you want help identifying your ‘next step’ just contact me to discuss.

Or, if this is not you, no problem, keep reading.  You’ve not yet warmed up to the idea of a love coach helping you bring even more love into your life, and you’re still skeptical.  You continue to ask ‘why should I give a damn’?

I could quote you studies that show individuals in happy relationships are healthier, wealthier, etc.  And other studies showing that happy singles are healthier than unhappy ones.  I could also quote studies that challenge many of the myths about love relationships you need to get clear on to prevent relationship trouble, breakups, etc.

Unless you’ve ‘given up’ on love, and, in particular, being part of a deeply satisfying, LASTING relationship (and if you have, you really need to consider getting to know me better!), I know you have got to be saying to yourself:  how can I get more of that???

For those of you who hesitate to join us in any way just yet, consider the following analogy: (more…)

But when gays are seen as the same as straights—as individuals; as normal, well-adjusted, human individuals—the argument changes altogether. The question becomes a matter of how we treat a minority with an involuntary, defining characteristic along the lines of gender or race. And when a generation came of age that did not merely grasp this intellectually, but knew it from their own lives and friends and family members, then the logic for full equality became irresistible…What California’s court did, then, was not to recognize a new right to same-sex marriage. It was to acknowledge an emergent cultural consensus.

…to see this movement we are a part of as a human endeavor to bring love and civility and family into lives that have sometimes been denied all of the above.  We were denied no love that night, and received so much support and kindness and affirmation that we’re still a little giddy. It was more than I ever expected, in a place I love, with people who love both Aaron and me.

- Andrew Sullivan

So is THIS what it’s like when you discover, and live, your career purpose (or some will say ‘when you discover and commit to a very personally and professionally meaningful career purpose?).  I am asking myself these questions today as I continue to be amazed at the excitement I am feeling these days.  Along with the feelings of confidence and ‘whee’, are the occasional fear-based thoughts such as ‘how in the world do I handle it?’, but when those ‘small’ thoughts attempt to creep into my heart and mind, I keep in mind beliefs such as a trust in myself and what I believe my larger mission to be and I keep in mind the larger fabric of why I am here!  And, for those of you who say fears are good, I say, yes, they are, when they direct us to better prepare for whatever it is we are creating.  When someone challenges you, or plays ‘devil’s advocate’ particularly if that someone has experience in whatever it is we are trying to accomplish, that’s a GOOD thing. 

How about you?  Are you living a ‘full out’ life?  However you define that?

I had an email conversation with a client this week that I thought I’d share.  She mentioned that she found she’d rather ‘live life as it comes’ and not get caught up in alot of goals or visions.  We went back and forth on that one, so, I will say to you:  Are you the kind of person who is thrilled by creating a grand vision and then drawing it to you OR are you more like my client?  My sense is that there is no one right answer here.  Perhaps having ‘no vision’ is in itself visionary???  I hope you’ll click on the comments link here and let us know what YOU think or feel (or both)…

Today’s post is simply the attention I pay to Andrew Sullivan’s upcoming Atlantic Montly article, ‘My Big Fat Straight Wedding’, where he talks about the landmark California marriage ruling and how getting married changed his life.  I was drawn to this article because I think Andrew so clearly describes the subtle and not-so-subtle transformation that occurs – in AND AROUND YOU - when you go from ‘being a gay couple’ to ‘becoming spouses like everyone else’.  (more…)