Greg Halpen, TheGayGuysLoveCoach

I had a blast last night talking with Greg Halpen on Blogtalkradio’s TheGayGuysLoveCoach.  Thank you to Greg for inviting me onto the show and for being such a tremendous host.

Greg and I covered several ‘juicy’ areas during our discussion.  We even had a wedding planner call in to discuss how to handle couples who get ‘testy’ during the wedding preparations process.

Be sure you click here to listen in, the show lasted approximately 30 minutes.  You can listen via streaming and you can download a copy of the show via mp3 as well.

BTW, Greg and I are cooking up an event for the single gals and guys in New York City later this summer, so, be on the lookout for more information to come soon!

As I talk with lesbian women from all over the world, we find it so much fun identifying together who they are and what they want.  The coaching exercises we do together to find out these juicy tidbits are often very liberating, especially for lesbians, because so many of us have held back so much of who we are from ‘the light of day’ for so long.

Some of my current and former clients only recently ‘came out of the closet’.  Some have even been married to a man for some length of time and are choosing to live a more authentic, ‘this is who I really am’ lesbian life for the first time.  And many others have identified, even rather openly, as lesbian for years but they…

• haven’t experience a deeply satisfying and lasting relationship with another woman
• they haven’t felt comfortable asking for what they want
• or they haven’t been aware of what they want romantically, for various reasons, most likely due to the socialization (or lack thereof) women and lesbian women receive when it comes to love, dating and relationships.

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Yesterday, I shared with you Part 1 of this 2 part post on ‘The connection between celebrating your sexuality and deeply satisfying, lasting love’.  Today, in Part 2, I continue to describe the ‘celebrating who you are’ continuum and adopting a celebratory attitude about yourself and your life.

TOLERANCE OF ONE’S LESBIANISM

Tolerance is a stage most gays and lesbians also go through.  When you tolerate something you are acknowledging it (versus denying it).  However, all of us know the feeling of ‘tolerating’ something.  It’s not usually fun, and the attitude is akin to ‘grinning and bearing something’ or ‘putting up with someone or something unpleasant’.

Kind of like the friends and/or family members who choose, after many years of knowing the ‘truth’ about us, to continue to say they aren’t happy with our ‘chosen lifestyle’. People who tolerate us may let us bring our partners to family events and, they may even become fond of our partners.

However, it is less likely they will openly acknowledge our partners fully as our ‘spouses’ and they most likely do not view our love relationships as equal to theirs. (more…)

As I talk with lesbian singles and couples all over the world, I am struck how often they aren’t aware how their level of self acceptance and celebration of their lesbianism impacts their ability to find, grow and nurture a deeply satisfying, lasting relationship.

Celebration of one’s sexual orientation is one of the ten most important ‘love readiness’ areas.  For those of you new to the idea of readiness, readiness is a concept that says your ability and availability to attract, form and grow a deeply satisfying and lasting relationship is dependent upon your ‘readiness’ for such a relationship.

Following from the above definition, whether you are single or coupled, the more ‘ready’ you are for love, the more love you can experience and create with another woman.

TAKE COACH SAPPHO’S RELATIONSHIP READINESS QUIZ

For those of you who have taken my 10 question, quick, yet powerful quiz – Coach Sappho’s Relationship Readiness Quiz – you know that question number ten asks you to assess, on a scale from 0 to 10, how much you celebrate (versus merely tolerate, or, accept) your sexuality.  If you haven’t yet taken the quiz, I highly encourage you do so.  The quiz is free and you receive your score immediately!

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I am working and the TV show The View is on (lately I’ve had NBC on in the morning and have been watching ‘Kathie Lee and Hoda’ at 11a but today the TV is on ABC).  I notice they just introduced lesbian comedian Judy Gold as a ‘gay’ mom.  Is it me or do you too wish they didn’t have to announce her as a ‘gay’ mom just a mom?  When will we just be a part of the mainstream so much so that when we are introduced we don’t always have to be called the gay this or the lesbian that…

Okay, I say to myself, wait up.  I should just be happy they are having an openly gay guest on their show AND I should just be happy they are open and comfortable saying words like ‘lesbian’ and ‘gay’!  HA!

While the gals on the View interviewed Judy it was interesting how Judy referred to her ‘ex’, whom they had their two children with, btw.  She says she ‘got her ex’ an apartment in the same building below her, because Judy is the ‘god’…under her breath…

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Are you ready for love, this fine Sunday afternoon?  I’ve been having some very interesting discussions with several of my singles clients this past week or so.  Dating to find a life partner is actually only one, very important skill in creating the life and relationship of your dreams.  Because the dating process is so important, and, often overlooked, as a relationship coach, my role is to be ’right there’ with these women, helping them think and become more aware of some of the things they aren’t thinking about, because their emotions are focused on a slightly different part of the process.  

Together, if we build a strong working relationship - we can help her ’get it right’ because we create this ’balancing of head and heart’ throughout the process of dating, mating and coupling that is required to find, grow and sustain a deeply satisfying, lasting love with another woman.

For example… (more…)

The question of whether or not to marry your lesbian life partner is one lesbian couples will be asking themselves in the days, months and years ahead.  Whether you live in a U.S. State like California or Massachusetts or a country like Canada where the option of gay marriage is already there or you live in a state where ‘relationship recognition’ elements for gay and lesbian couples (like Maryland, where the governor just signed a law giving same sex couples some ‘domestic partnership’ rights), NOW is the time to start considering your vision when it comes to marriage BEFORE  you do it, particularly when it comes to the financial aspects of legal marriage.

And, in true Coach Sappho style, we say that all of us need to consider checking in to see how ’balanced’ our heads and hearts are when it comes to love and money.  Yes, of course ‘wedded bliss’ is Coach Sappho’s favorite romantic ideal, however it ‘pays’ (literally) to do your homework before you jump in to any relationship that includes long term legal effects.

Today I came across a very basic article looking at the issue…

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