Yesterday, I shared with you Part 1 of this 2 part post on ‘The connection between celebrating your sexuality and deeply satisfying, lasting love’.  Today, in Part 2, I continue to describe the ‘celebrating who you are’ continuum and adopting a celebratory attitude about yourself and your life.

TOLERANCE OF ONE’S LESBIANISM

Tolerance is a stage most gays and lesbians also go through.  When you tolerate something you are acknowledging it (versus denying it).  However, all of us know the feeling of ‘tolerating’ something.  It’s not usually fun, and the attitude is akin to ‘grinning and bearing something’ or ‘putting up with someone or something unpleasant’.

Kind of like the friends and/or family members who choose, after many years of knowing the ‘truth’ about us, to continue to say they aren’t happy with our ‘chosen lifestyle’. People who tolerate us may let us bring our partners to family events and, they may even become fond of our partners.

However, it is less likely they will openly acknowledge our partners fully as our ‘spouses’ and they most likely do not view our love relationships as equal to theirs. (more…)

I was speaking with a new client this morning who recently ended an 8 year relationship with another woman.  She feels she is ‘healing’ and says she wants me to help her overcome the ‘serial monogamy’, u-haul game and find a lifelong partner the next time around.

What a great time, btw, for someone to enlist support!  I remember back to my therapy training days when we learned that crises may seem overwhelming but they are also a time when we are more open to change.  That’s right – the Chinese were right – crisis =’s opportunity!  And making some internal changes (as well as some changes in her actions) will be required of this client if she expects to ever stop ‘leasing’ U-Hauls!!!  (more…)

Whether you are…

• visiting our site for the very first time
• a client
• a frequent reader of our website
• a reader of our free e-course
• a member of Coach Sappho’s ‘Creating a Life I Love’ Club

you have now had some experience of Coach Sappho.  Have we enhanced your life?  If you’ve gained in any way from spending time with us, we’d like to invite you to tell others how spending time with us has helped you.  Would you like to spread the joy?  It’s easy to let friends and family know more about us.

HERE ARE TWO WAYS YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT COACH SAPPHO:

1.  NEW!!! Coach Sappho 2 page flyer describing our programs – chock full of testimonials.  Feel free to print out and share with your friends!  NEW!!!

2.  Click here and Coach Sappho will send an email for you for up to seven of your friends.  All you have to do is enter your name, their names and their email addresses.  Or, you can put whatever script you’d like to appear on the email.  Complete this form as many times as you like!

As always, we keep all names and email addresses private.  We will not sell or share any information you or any of your friends or family share with us to any third party without permission, ever!

Thank you for your support!

“One of the important principles I live by is the idea that you have to contemplate yourself as surrounded by the conditions you intend to produce. The difference between highly functioning people – the people Maslow called self-actualizers – and people who live with ordinary levels of consciousness is that the self-actualizers never put their intention on what they don’t want. They know that what you think about is what expands.”
- Dr. Wayne Dyer

So, here we are – you and I, coming together today.  Now, technically, we aren’t sitting down in front of each other, or, even speaking live and listening to one another’s voice or even instant messaging.  But, that is not what matters.  What matters, I  know deep in my heart, is that what we are doing here is forming a powerful, positive, connection between us for your greater good.

There is beautiful music that you and I can make together that you can’t create anywhere else.  Our relationship offers you something special that will inspire you to live the life your heart (instead of your ego) desires, because it is my intention to help you connect with the part of you that can give you what you need to create such a life.

My work, my legacy, my passion…is about offering you places…spaces…and faces, that support you for becoming your most magnificent self.  Period.  And, that is why I want to get to know you and why you’ll want to get to know, and hang around with, me.

HINT: This site is a blog.  That means it is a place where we can talk.  I will post lots of entries, sometimes daily.  The point of the posts is simply to create an ongoing dialogue of health, wellness, prosperity and fun.  A dialogue that creates an intimacy that…

• helps us build bridges by identifying the life-affirming and respectful values all of us can agree upon, in spite of our differences
• inspires us to enjoy discussions that help us live, love and work smarter
• reminds us to partake of discussions that follow abundant mottos such as, “givers gain” and “in our diversity lies our strength”

One of the most powerful ways I know to create what I want is by planting myself in the fertile soil of people, ideas and activities that help me be who I most want to be and do what I most want to accomplish.  That is what I sincerely hope this blog will help you do.  All you need to do is water the soil and spread some sunshine by showing up and participating.  Then, watch the quality of your life grow, like a beautiful flower.

So, please get involved by commenting on my posts.  You can do this whenever you want on any post by clicking on the ‘comments’ link at the bottom of each post),  What’s cool about this is that by publicly commenting, others will see your posts and be encouraged to offer wisdom or information that can help you and even the rest of our readers.

Or, if you’d like to keep it private, between you and I, call or email me.  Either way is fine.

So, please, feel free to click on the ‘comments’ link below and post or tell me by emailing me what you want to read and hear about.  I’m all ears (and eyes)!!!

Don’t be shy, send me a line and let me know what you need, I want to help you get it.

Barb Elgin

Well hello!  How have you been?  It’s been busy as usual over here at Coach Sappho.

• Looking on the bright side this week I’d like to congratulate the State of Maine, who became the 16th state to add sexual orientation and gender identity to a Maine law that bars discrimination in employment, housing, credit, public accomodations and education.
• How’s your love life?  If you’ve ever been in a relationship over a year, you know things tend to “cool down.”  But, is it inevitable that they “cool off?”  I’ll never forget what the psychology professor I took a Human Sexuality class with in college said:

Did you know that your biggest sex organ is between your ears!?!

Yes, indeed, is she nuts, now, just what did she mean?  That imagination, mystery and creativity are sexy turn ons!  So, don’t let your brain cells go limp when it comes to sex and intimacy, even if you are not in a relationship (catch my drift!). 

Hate to break it to you but love isn’t all wine, roses and, for some of us, chocolates!  We have to add a dash of brain food in there too once in awhile.

Make time for sensuality in your life, you deserve it (and it’s no doubt great for stress reduction!).  Stimulate your dendrites and they will give you a tingle!

And, if you’re looking for suggestions to jump start your brain, here’s a couple of my favorite books/tapes on the subject:

Hot Monogamy by Pat Love, EdD (book) (audiotape) – excellent ideas delivered in an often humorous manner.  I just love Pat Love!!!

The Whole Lesbian Sex Book by Felice Newman – full of education and information

Or, here’s a simple suggestion that goes the distance:  each of you should make a list of activities you’ve gotten away from doing that you enjoy or that you’ve fantasized about or want to try.  Then, be sure to do one of those activities at least once a week, alternating back and forth.  And, again, if you are a single slinger, make a list and treat yourself.

Champions keep playing until they get it right! – Billie Jean King

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin

For those of us in the northern hemisphere, spring has sprung!  While it may not feel that way yet (hey – it’s even been dark, chilly and rainy here in Central Florida the past couple of days!), you can bet warm, sunny days are just around the bend.

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT COACH SAPPHO:  Look what Coach Sappho has been cookin’ up for you, to keep you warm and toasty till lady spring pokes her head out:

Famous author, Angela Bonavoglia is Coach Sappho’s “Uncommon Courage” guest for March 2005.

Thursday, 3/31/05, from 7-8pm EST

Coach Sappho’s ‘Creating a Life I Love’ Club’s “Uncommon Courage” guest for March 2005 is a fabulous ally by the name of Ms. Angela Bonavoglia.  I met Ms. Bonavoglia about 18 months ago while interviewing Kathy Itzin, the catholic religious education instructor from Minnesota who had a lifetime achievement award taken back by her city’s bishop when he found out she was a lesbian.

Angela Bonavoglia has just published her latest book, Good Catholic Girls:  How Women are Leading the Fight to Change the Church.  Angela Bonavoglia is an award-winning journalist and author who covers social, health, religious and women�s issues. A previous book on abortion, The Choices We Made, was featured on Oprah. Her feature articles, investigative reports, op-eds, personal essays, and profiles have appeared in Ms. (longtime contributing editor), the Chicago Tribune, Redbook, Mirabella, Cosmopolitan, Newsday, and The New York Times, among other publications.

Angela’s article, “The Church�s Tug of War,” about women as an invisible force for reform in the Roman Catholic Church, was the lead article in The Nation in the wake of the clergy sex abuse scandals of 2002.

I can’t wait to talk with her about how and why she chose the career path she is on today.  Aren’t you curious?  I hope you will join her and I via the teleconference bridge on March 31st for an exciting discussion.  If you have specific questions you’d like me to ask her during the interview, email me so I can prepare.

Click here to read more about Ms. Bonavoglia and her latest book.  Or visit her website: http://www.goodcatholicgirls.com.