Barb met Paula several years ago as both are life coaches who specialize in working with lesbian women. Paula’s story is unique in that she followed her heart and successfully left corporate America to create a career she loves.

Paula will be sharing the process she’s created to help her business and personal clients, called Life Alchemy™.  She’ll share how she came to develop the process; what is unique about the way she helps women reinvent their lives and careers; the biggest barriers she sees women struggling with, especially lesbian women, when it comes to succeeding on one’s own terms professionally and more.

Be sure to set aside this hour now and give yourself some nurturing.  Particularly if you are bored, frustrated or hating your current job, you will want to tune in!  Men and women invited.

Click here to bookmark the podcast page now!

I need to ask you – what is more important in life than love? Is there a more rewarding job than helping people find the love of their life and helping established couples stay together, happily?​  You can help Coach Sappho reach it’s mission of helping each lesbian woman experience more love in this lifetime!

Coach Sappho is a personalized love coaching and matchmaking service designed especially for lesbians.  We have been coaching lesbian singles and couples to create an amazing life and love life and connecting single lesbians for almost 10 years now.  Our reach to date includes 45 states in the U.S. and 17 foreign countries.

We are currently looking to grow our national sales force due to overwhelming client demand.  We are looking for aggressive professionals that can help grow the business by driving sales and increasing revenue. We need successful, driven, self motivated professionals who can work out of their home office, on a commission only basis.

Recession?​ There is no recession in the dating and love industries.​  Our business has not been effected by the current economic situation and still continues to grow!

Successful candidates will have experience working in a services industry, be comfortable with a fast paced, very demanding sales environment and have a proven record of closing deals. Responsibilities include, but are not limited to: managing all active files, following up on leads, promptly calling prospects, presenting our services, setting phone appointments, customizing a plan with the appropriate number of matches based on the criteria obtained from the interview, closing the sale and updating the database with all applicable information needed to complete the transaction.

Job Requirements

• Must have excellent negotiation skills, positive can-do attitude, and a passion for sales
• Ability to work well on your own with no supervision
• Thrives in Commission-only sales environment
• Ability to create achievable goals and reach them on a weekly basis
• A background selling in a ‘soft’ and/or ‘emotion-based’ services industry preferred (i.e.: dating services, weight loss,gym/fitness industry, cosmetic surgery, real estate, etc.)
• Able to interview potential clients and identify how best to match the prospect with the service(s) that best meet their needs right now.  This can include interviewing existing clients that may be a potential match in order to encourage them to be represented by our matchmakers
• Must have a home office with access to a computer and internet, preferably a laptop
• Requires excellent written and oral communication skills
• Ability to develop and maintain business partnerships
• High school diploma. Preferably a Bachelors degree in Business or related field, or a minimum of 2-3 years experience outside sales
• Background check and references

Compensation

This position is a commission only/contractual project. Coach Sappho will provide it’s ‘Sales Angels’ with specialized training, with clients that are interested in learning more about our services, a sales leads database to maintain client records, email for communications, and a key contact person for assistance in managing day to day activities. Our commission structure is a very competitive in the industry and there are no caps on earning potential!

To be considered, please click here and forward a cover letter and updated resume along with salary requirements.  Or, give Barb Elgin a call at 352-347-3577.

ONLY those Candidates who are serious about working from home and on a commission-only pay structure should apply.

What are your summer vacation plans for 2009?

You’ve made some vacation plans, haven’t you?  Well, yes, for many of us, the economy has put a ‘pinch’ on our vacation dreams, however, it is important for you to take some ‘down time’ for yourself, even if money is tight.

Imagination and creativity are always key to ‘working with what we’ve got’.  If you’ve decided a ‘staycation’ is the best solution for you (and your partner if you are coupled), be sure you check out the opportunities available to you in your area.  Or, create some…

Great vacations in your own backyard

For example, as my lucky neighbors here in Central Florida know, many of us can pretty inexpensively take a day trip or weekend to the beach or to the theme parks.  If you are a Florida resident, be sure to check out the theme park deals for residents.

So, no matter where you live someone has already written internet articles or a book on ‘what to do’ in your area.  Check the internet, which is of course free, first, for ideas.

Everyone, however, has special places they can visit in their area.  Also check your local paper, the smaller community papers and radio/TV for what is available in your area.  Most towns have popular, touristy ‘places to visit’ that are ‘always there’ such as a park or beach or museum as well as special ‘seasonal’ programs.  For example, a trend lately is holding ‘screenings’ of movies outside in major cities.  People can usually go, for a small price or free and watch a movie in the open air.

Popular lesbian vacation destinations abound

If you are looking for places outside your backyard, Edie Stull at SheWired has put together a list of popular lesbian vacation spots.  Some of the most well known spots are listed, as well as some surprises!  Edie’s list contains U.S. and foreign destinations.

And, here’s a surprising bonus you may not know about – taking vacations can enhance your career!

The bottom line here is that you take ‘a break’ from your daily routine, when you can.  Even ‘mini-breaks’ here and there of an evening or an afternoon or a day (weekdays can be even better to beat the crowds), are vital to your physical and mental health.

Managers report employees are more productive at work when they take vacations and they report customers notice too.  A survey of managers by Accountemps, a major staffing firm, showed 68% believe their staff are more productive after a vacation.

So, if you are an overachiever, or suffer the ‘guilts’, just remember:  if you are a worker you may be doing yourself more harm by not taking a vacation.  And if you manage employees, keep this survey in mind before you feel resentful or project that onto your employees!  In the end, you will receive more accolades as a successful manager when your employees are happy.  Happy employees give more at the office!

Lastly, if you are single, vacations are a great way to meet new women.  If you are coupled, they are the perfect way to spend some ‘us’ time together, which is very important given many of us are time starved.

As another day passes and we hear more ‘doom and gloom’ from our TV’s, the internet and such, I believe this is one of those times that we will look back upon as a time where we became more loving, yet strong souls.  Indeed, in our parent’s times, perhaps they referred to times like now as

Make it or Break it Time

We’ve certainly now begun to see (and many of us have begun to experience) the ‘barren soil’ and dying vegetation that has come from ‘irrational exuberance’ and, perhaps, a type of greed and lack of accountability that has characterized our political and economic systems in recent years.

While all of us no doubt have been touched to some degree by these elements, I want to remind you that these are times where it is possible for us to become stronger, especially emotionally and mentally.

Mentally and emotionally, you ask?  “How can I feel more confident when I’ve lost my job and I don’t where my next mortgage payment is going to come from?”

Times like these are the ones that make us stronger, if we choose to reach down inside and find our brilliance.  That’s right…

While I am more liberal than conservative (I really hate both terms), I am also more conservative than liberal (figure that one out)!  What this means is that I tend to agree with those who say we’ve all, as a society, gotten away from cultivating the ‘higher’ aspects of our character.

Obviously, we need to grow up more as a society when it comes to things like sex (where we go from one extreme – repression – to the other – far too much expression) and sexual orientation (too many of us still don’t ‘get it’ that being gay is as normal in the universe as being not gay).

When it comes to our beliefs about religious practice, too many of us think ‘our way is the only way’ and we end up in wars over our god (or gods and goddesses).  And where we criticize those who, perhaps thoughtfully, question the point of any religion that seems to create problems.  When we think our problems are black and white (that all government intervention is bad and all capitalism is good).

And, where we go to extremes financially, instead of finding some sane balance. For example, in order for our economy and for each of our lives to improve, at times we do need some credit extended our way – to buy a home, start a business, go to school, etc. We need a balance – but instead, apparently, in recent years, too much credit became too easy to get.  And, where greedy real estate speculation was also a part of what’s come home to roost today. 

And we’ve become most likely too kind to corporations and even whole industries.  Where we allow companies to become unprofitable and then we bail them out, often more than once.  And, where we don’t expect any accountability in return.

So, are you ready to use this challenging time to grow your soul? That part of you that is indestructible at it’s core?  Will your ‘phoenix’ self rise out of the ashes?  Can you figure out a way to survive and, even thrive, without becoming greedy with expectations in the process?

To what degree is ‘destruction’ inevitable as we create?  And, will you choose to act with some sort of ethical standard despite your fear?  Can you become successful without becoming arrogant?

Don’t you wonder what someone like Tim Russert would have to say about times like these?

I was just saying to my mom last night: here we are uncovering how corrupt and bankrupt many of our companies still are, even as I remember just a few years back that, after Enron, companies were supposedly working to become more ‘transparent’ and ‘responsible members’ of the various communities and constituencies they served.  Whatever happened to that so-called new mentality?  True ‘lip service’, I guess.

Okay, so before I get too far ‘out there’ on this topic, let me get back to my point: how does all of this babble relate to you and your life? From a larger perspective I would say no matter what things look like right now: believe you have whatever it takes to survive and, even, prosper, despite the economy looking like a desert right now.

And get moving to make that happen!  Even if this means that part of what you choose to do includes jobs that are at least ‘legal’, even if you aren’t that thrilled about, like, putting your dream business on the second burner for awhile or asking for help from a relative to pay an overdue bill.  See – a few years ago it was all about ‘do what you love’.  Now it’s about doing what you need to do, within limits, to survive!  I guess the buddhists have it right – sometimes you’ve just got to ‘wash the dishes’!

But whatever you do, don’t betray your character in the process.  Experts are saying that times like these DO bring out the best in many people.  Read stories about human resiliency.  Learn about what people, given unbelievable challenges, do to overcome them.  Have faith in the strength of your spirit…

And, in that same vein, here are some gentle, very ‘common sense’ reminders for dealing with financial stress:

Get real with where you stand financially.

• If you are already in the ‘danger zone’ when it comes to your finances, don’t deny that you are in trouble.  Deal with it, but be careful: get wise counsel BEFORE you plan and take action.  Don’t jump from the proverbial ‘frying pan into the fire’.  Learn your best options and the pros and cons of each.  Don’t let feelings of failure creep up and have you ‘avoiding’ dealing with your situation.  Most creditors DO respond to a positive attitude, and a willingness to negotiate, when it is eventually followed up by results.
• If you are getting into dangerous territory financially, start right away to correct your situation as best as you can.  Again, perhaps wise counsel is needed.  If you aren’t on a budget, most likely you need to be.  There are plenty of resources out there to help you, just be sure you utilize legitimate ones.  How do you know if a resource is legitimate?  Check with places like your state’s consumer issues or rights divisions.  If you decide to seek professional financial advice, be sure you research where and what wise/competent help is and be sure you get it.  All of this information applies to your personal and business (if applicable) situations.
• If you are doing okay given today’s financial realities, take really strong preventive action now, however you need to, to avoid getting into the trouble zone.  There are probably things you can do.  The least you can do is watch your spending more carefully if you haven’t been, in the past.
• Lastly, if you are one of the lucky few to find yourself better off than ever or comfortable, be grateful.  And, make sure you too review your financial plan to be sure there aren’t any smoldering ashes waiting to ignite.

Now, how does all of this financial talk relate to becoming a more gentle, yet strong soul? Surviving in today’s world does take guts, lots of hard work and, yes, some luck.  So does succeeding (which I would define as ‘survival plus’).  There are many temptations out there.  Most of us have fallen prey to some of them at least once. Have greater trust in yourself and life.  Again, believe you can make it through these difficult times.

Believe you have a resourcefulness that will see you through.  Act upon that resourcefulness.  Don’t be a lone ranger.  Find others who share your values.  Support one another emotionally.  Don’t resort to losing who you are, your values and your character, out of fear.

I also believe that you can.  You can get out there and find the intersection between what you love to do and something that people are interested in paying you for.  I believe that each of us needs to be more ‘conscious’ about the agreements we are making.  Whether you consciously agree to something or not in your life, you ARE agreeing to something.

That’s what our government needs to remember.  That’s what businesses need to remember.  It all boils down to this:  in order to survive and thrive, there must be some measure of order, and relationships based on shared agreement.

Similar to what it takes to create a deeply satisfying, and lasting relationship with another person.  In order for your life to be deeply satisfying, you’ve got to be more gentle, and yet, strong, with yourself!

I’ll leave you with a favorite Wayne Dyer quote…

Happiness isn’t a destination.  Happiness is the way….

Every time I think about what Billie Jean went through, personally, professionally and publicly, I just feel so grateful for her (and women like her) and feel the need to remind everyone about her and the legacy she’s created.  Her story reminds me of other times when I feel the need to remind people ‘not to forget’ about human atrocities like the Holocaust, racism, etc.

I also had the luck, about 3-4 years ago, of meeting Billie Jean in Tempe, Arizona when she keynoted at Out and Equal’s Annual National Conference.  Before Billie Jean spoke, Out and Equal presented a film review of her life, and the contributions she’s made, to women’s equal rights, women’s sports, women’s tennis and to the GLBT community.  Wow – in addition to an amazing tennis career – this lady has done a heck of a lot for all of the above!  For example, I really didn’t know, until the film, how much Billie has done to advance women’s sports, going down all the way to the college and high school levels.

After Billie Jean’s presentation, I had the chance to share a picture with her and she graciously gave me her autograph on a conference hat, which I have safely tucked in my sports memorabilia collection.

The next time someone makes you feel invisible or ‘less than’, just remember Billie Jean most likely had it much worse in the 1970′s when she was ‘outed’ by her female lover, right when she was leaving tennis, leaving her in a financial crisis when all of her endorsements were cancelled.

Remember too that we still have so far to go. There still hasn’t been, as Billie Jean said in the tennis.com article, ‘any top ten out gay male tennis stars.’  This also holds true for most men’s professional sports leagues, by the way.  She emphasized how much we need our straight allies to stand up for us, so we can put the issue of sexual orientation ‘to rest’.  Yes, indeed, Billie.

Of course, often when I talk with a client this way, their first reaction is to say, like we sometimes do when ‘breaking in’ new shoes, ‘ouch’.  She says she is feeling that ‘seeing bigger’  or ‘with new eyes’ in this way is something she will consider, however, it would be a ‘huge’ hurdle, a language choice I encouraged her to ‘play with’ (after all, even if that’s the image we have, it’s not a ‘done deal’ – you just need to envision another way such as jumping high and/or powerfully OVER the hurdle instead of envisioning removing or avoiding the hurdle!).    ;-0

We hung up with her agreeing to make some immediate promises to herself (and me!) about what she could do to…

• feel better now
• begin planning her longer range career vision

What I want her to remember (and you too) is that, while it’s important to think bigger and plan for a more satisfying life in the near future, it’s also just as important to not lose site of today and the joy you can find now, even though you may be feeling stressed about a situation.  And, it’s normal to feel a sense of excitement (even if it feels like anxiety, a less powerful term), when considering something new, exciting and yes, risky….

So – definitely plan for how you will increase your income next year or improve your job satisfaction.  Then, get out there and enjoy some of the ‘sights and sounds’ of the season – TODAY, BEFORE THE SUN SETS!

I just finished…

1)  Mailing off a check to Evan Wolfson and Freedom to Marry for 50% of registrations from Coach Sappho’s Valentine’s Tele-Party last month!  Thanks to those of you who attended the tele-party and enabled Coach Sappho to make this donation to a very worthy organization (and cause!).

2)  An amazing session with a client and since I am often asked ‘just what is this are you ready for love? thing’ I thought I’d share some thoughts on today’s coaching session as it relates to this infinitely important question.

I believe it was Freud who said…

Love and work…work and love…that’s all there is!

Perhaps Freud could have written Coach Sappho’s mission statement – which is all about creating a life you love and the love of your life.  Certainly a huge part of most of our lives – 1/3rd or more to be exact, for many of us – is about our work.

I deeply believe that one’s work is intimately related to living and loving well.  Indeed some would say the work you choose is a true reflection of who you are.  One colleague I admire (see her book below!), says the reverse:  our work creates who we are.  One of the things I most hated back in a less conscious period of my life was working a job that didn’t ‘thrill’ me.  Now, I knew something wasn’t ‘quite right’, even if I wasn’t ready yet to do something about it.  For me, my joy in working is proportional to how well the work I am doing expresses who I am.  When I am doing work that touches me to the core, I really feel I am ‘using up’ my gifts for something great and, afterall, what else is life for?

There’s nothing like – and this may sound a bit butch-y – the feeling of firing on ALL of my cylinders!  How about you?  Perhaps a more provocative question is THIS one…

When was the last time you or someone else cared enough about you to ask you such a question???  Don’t wait for someone to care – do it for yourself!!!

One of the key 10 areas of relationship readiness – which are all prerequisites to experiencing a deeply satisfying, lasting relationship with another human being – concerns one’s work.  Therefore, if your career is ‘limping’ along, don’t expect there to be great love (and sex!) in your life!  What, you say?  What does work have to do with your love life?

Well, it turns out, alot.  When you are half-hearted about your work, or, perhaps you choose work or practice work in a way that is devoid of love – you can’t help but show it.  On the other hand, people seem to be very drawn to others who ARE obviously ‘in love with’ their work.  When someone is thrilled to be doing what they are doing, when they are finding their work effortless, and when they are giving that work as a ‘gift of love’ to others who need what they are good at providing, they are VERY attractive to others.  Also, being this engaged in one’s career often means putting yourself into environments where there are other really professionally successful people.  A bonus if you are single and looking for a life partner!

Also – if you are in a relationship and if you are taking care of your own, individual career needs, you’ll be happier and that happiness obviously will seep over into your relationship.  I guarantee it!

Another way of looking at it might be like this:  do those who care enough to create a career they love also ‘get it’ that loving another person well requires the same?  Are not love and work both relationships that require similar ‘habitudes’ to find, create and sustain?  Hmm……..unfortunately we all know one too many examples of how one doesn’t necessarily lead to the other…

By the way, work is whatever you define it to be, for you.  If you are the stay-at-home parent, raising the kiddies, THAT is your career at present!  And, what an important career it is!  If you are the stay-at-home partner who keeps the warm fires burning, bless you!  Who wouldn’t love having such a wife?  If you are the partner to such a woman, don’t take what she does, even though it doesn’t pay a salary, for granted.

Or, what if you are the breadwinner, going out into the hard, competitive world day in and day out so you can have a great single life, or life to share with your partner, good for you.  How about if you both work out of the home to put together a lovely life outside work, good for you!  Even better – if you’ve created a business that is now profitable and you’ve cut back to enjoy the fruits of your labor and give back to your community some of these fruits – wow!  I think you get my point…

I will also get practical for a moment – I’m not all ‘touchy-feely’ and mush.  I’ll guarantee you have a better chance of increasing your income and lifestyle too, when you are doing work you are great at, that you also enjoy doing.  Whether you are single or partnered, some extra income is usually welcome, isn’t it???  And on and on…

So, let’s get back to how this all relates to the client I just completed a session with this morning.  This client is in the midst of a career transition – she is like a tender young bud about to burst forth.  She is still very fearful and full of ‘what if”s’ and being too practical and all of that, but through our ‘play’ together, she is starting to do what I call the ‘gut’ work of really getting down to the heart-level and speaking honestly about what she wants her life and career to look like, in the short and longer term.

Each time it seems my client is driving off her ‘heart’s path’ I remind her it appears to me she is ‘off track’ and I encourage her to look at this more closely and decide if she is, to consider getting back on it.  When this happens, and my client re-focusees on what she can do and, solutions, versus what she can’t do, she is moving closer to creating a life she absolutely loves. 

One of the reasons this client is drawn to me, I think, is that she needs to become more focused on HER vision, life purpose and mission.  This client is, unfortunately, still too un-focused, too much of the time and I believe our relationship is about helping her get into greater integrity with HER soul’s purpose on this earth and in this lifetime.  This is not unusual, and is a very common problem most of us struggle with!

Each time my client re-focuses on HER heart’s vision, her energy is diverted away from old ways of doing things that no longer work for her or, give her joy, like forcing herself to do things for others she doesn’t really want to do.  It’s an amazing process and I know that as she gets her career going in the direction she truly desires, ie: has more consistent success, she’ll be naturally addressing this career aspect of relationship readiness and also naturally moving closer to meeting the woman of her dreams and creating the love relationship she desires.

HERE’S YOUR ‘CALLS TO ACTION’:  Did reading the above inspire you?  Well, if it did, you may want to take advantage of a complimentary ‘group coaching’ call I am offering NEXT week on – Tuesday evening, March 18, 2008 at 8p ET – for those interested in learning more about coaching.  During the one hour call I’ll be sharing with listeners what coaching is, the benefits of telephone coaching and I’ll be selecting one lucky listener for some ‘just in time’ one-on-one coaching, so that she (or he) can experience coaching firsthand and others on the call can listen in.

IMPORTANT, TIME LIMITED OFFER: If you’re interested in signing up for next Tuesday night’s complimentary call, email me by FRIDAY, MARCH 14, 2008 at midnight PT and I’ll give you all the details you’ll need to attend!

LASTLY, those who attend this complimentary ‘group coaching’ call will be offered a SPECIAL coaching bundle that is significantly discounted from my regular rate, so, what do you have to lose!?!  But you must be present on the live call to receive the rate, so, be sure to email me by FRIDAY, MARCH 14, 2008 at midnight PT and I’ll give you all the details you’ll need to participate!

SO, BE SURE TO SET ASIDE 8-9P ET ON TUESDAY NIGHT, MARCH 18, 2008 AND EMAIL ME TO LET ME KNOW YOU WANT THE PRIVATE PHONE NUMBER TO ATTEND.

OR, if you believe today that you aren’t the type to get on this sort of call (I know I can change your beliefs about that though!), here are two excellent resources on the topic of creating a career you love:

A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future by Daniel Pink

Money, Meaning and Beyond: 27 Unexpected Ways to Create What Really Matters for Business Owners by Andrea J. Lee and Tina Forsyth

These two books are excellent resources for anyone and everyone!

Have a great week,

Barb Elgin