What are your summer vacation plans for 2009?

You’ve made some vacation plans, haven’t you?  Well, yes, for many of us, the economy has put a ‘pinch’ on our vacation dreams, however, it is important for you to take some ‘down time’ for yourself, even if money is tight.

Imagination and creativity are always key to ‘working with what we’ve got’.  If you’ve decided a ‘staycation’ is the best solution for you (and your partner if you are coupled), be sure you check out the opportunities available to you in your area.  Or, create some…

Great vacations in your own backyard

For example, as my lucky neighbors here in Central Florida know, many of us can pretty inexpensively take a day trip or weekend to the beach or to the theme parks.  If you are a Florida resident, be sure to check out the theme park deals for residents.

So, no matter where you live someone has already written internet articles or a book on ‘what to do’ in your area.  Check the internet, which is of course free, first, for ideas.

Everyone, however, has special places they can visit in their area.  Also check your local paper, the smaller community papers and radio/TV for what is available in your area.  Most towns have popular, touristy ‘places to visit’ that are ‘always there’ such as a park or beach or museum as well as special ‘seasonal’ programs.  For example, a trend lately is holding ‘screenings’ of movies outside in major cities.  People can usually go, for a small price or free and watch a movie in the open air.

Popular lesbian vacation destinations abound

If you are looking for places outside your backyard, Edie Stull at SheWired has put together a list of popular lesbian vacation spots.  Some of the most well known spots are listed, as well as some surprises!  Edie’s list contains U.S. and foreign destinations.

And, here’s a surprising bonus you may not know about – taking vacations can enhance your career!

The bottom line here is that you take ‘a break’ from your daily routine, when you can.  Even ‘mini-breaks’ here and there of an evening or an afternoon or a day (weekdays can be even better to beat the crowds), are vital to your physical and mental health.

Managers report employees are more productive at work when they take vacations and they report customers notice too.  A survey of managers by Accountemps, a major staffing firm, showed 68% believe their staff are more productive after a vacation.

So, if you are an overachiever, or suffer the ‘guilts’, just remember:  if you are a worker you may be doing yourself more harm by not taking a vacation.  And if you manage employees, keep this survey in mind before you feel resentful or project that onto your employees!  In the end, you will receive more accolades as a successful manager when your employees are happy.  Happy employees give more at the office!

Lastly, if you are single, vacations are a great way to meet new women.  If you are coupled, they are the perfect way to spend some ‘us’ time together, which is very important given many of us are time starved.

As another day passes and we hear more ‘doom and gloom’ from our TV’s, the internet and such, I believe this is one of those times that we will look back upon as a time where we became more loving, yet strong souls.  Indeed, in our parent’s times, perhaps they referred to times like now as

Make it or Break it Time

We’ve certainly now begun to see (and many of us have begun to experience) the ‘barren soil’ and dying vegetation that has come from ‘irrational exuberance’ and, perhaps, a type of greed and lack of accountability that has characterized our political and economic systems in recent years.

While all of us no doubt have been touched to some degree by these elements, I want to remind you that these are times where it is possible for us to become stronger, especially emotionally and mentally.

Mentally and emotionally, you ask?  “How can I feel more confident when I’ve lost my job and I don’t where my next mortgage payment is going to come from?”

Times like these are the ones that make us stronger, if we choose to reach down inside and find our brilliance.  That’s right…

While I am more liberal than conservative (I really hate both terms), I am also more conservative than liberal (figure that one out)!  What this means is that I tend to agree with those who say we’ve all, as a society, gotten away from cultivating the ‘higher’ aspects of our character.

Obviously, we need to grow up more as a society when it comes to things like sex (where we go from one extreme – repression – to the other – far too much expression) and sexual orientation (too many of us still don’t ‘get it’ that being gay is as normal in the universe as being not gay).

When it comes to our beliefs about religious practice, too many of us think ‘our way is the only way’ and we end up in wars over our god (or gods and goddesses).  And where we criticize those who, perhaps thoughtfully, question the point of any religion that seems to create problems.  When we think our problems are black and white (that all government intervention is bad and all capitalism is good).

And, where we go to extremes financially, instead of finding some sane balance. For example, in order for our economy and for each of our lives to improve, at times we do need some credit extended our way – to buy a home, start a business, go to school, etc. We need a balance – but instead, apparently, in recent years, too much credit became too easy to get.  And, where greedy real estate speculation was also a part of what’s come home to roost today. 

And we’ve become most likely too kind to corporations and even whole industries.  Where we allow companies to become unprofitable and then we bail them out, often more than once.  And, where we don’t expect any accountability in return.

So, are you ready to use this challenging time to grow your soul? That part of you that is indestructible at it’s core?  Will your ‘phoenix’ self rise out of the ashes?  Can you figure out a way to survive and, even thrive, without becoming greedy with expectations in the process?

To what degree is ‘destruction’ inevitable as we create?  And, will you choose to act with some sort of ethical standard despite your fear?  Can you become successful without becoming arrogant?

Don’t you wonder what someone like Tim Russert would have to say about times like these?

I was just saying to my mom last night: here we are uncovering how corrupt and bankrupt many of our companies still are, even as I remember just a few years back that, after Enron, companies were supposedly working to become more ‘transparent’ and ‘responsible members’ of the various communities and constituencies they served.  Whatever happened to that so-called new mentality?  True ‘lip service’, I guess.

Okay, so before I get too far ‘out there’ on this topic, let me get back to my point: how does all of this babble relate to you and your life? From a larger perspective I would say no matter what things look like right now: believe you have whatever it takes to survive and, even, prosper, despite the economy looking like a desert right now.

And get moving to make that happen!  Even if this means that part of what you choose to do includes jobs that are at least ‘legal’, even if you aren’t that thrilled about, like, putting your dream business on the second burner for awhile or asking for help from a relative to pay an overdue bill.  See – a few years ago it was all about ‘do what you love’.  Now it’s about doing what you need to do, within limits, to survive!  I guess the buddhists have it right – sometimes you’ve just got to ‘wash the dishes’!

But whatever you do, don’t betray your character in the process.  Experts are saying that times like these DO bring out the best in many people.  Read stories about human resiliency.  Learn about what people, given unbelievable challenges, do to overcome them.  Have faith in the strength of your spirit…

And, in that same vein, here are some gentle, very ‘common sense’ reminders for dealing with financial stress:

Get real with where you stand financially.

• If you are already in the ‘danger zone’ when it comes to your finances, don’t deny that you are in trouble.  Deal with it, but be careful: get wise counsel BEFORE you plan and take action.  Don’t jump from the proverbial ‘frying pan into the fire’.  Learn your best options and the pros and cons of each.  Don’t let feelings of failure creep up and have you ‘avoiding’ dealing with your situation.  Most creditors DO respond to a positive attitude, and a willingness to negotiate, when it is eventually followed up by results.
• If you are getting into dangerous territory financially, start right away to correct your situation as best as you can.  Again, perhaps wise counsel is needed.  If you aren’t on a budget, most likely you need to be.  There are plenty of resources out there to help you, just be sure you utilize legitimate ones.  How do you know if a resource is legitimate?  Check with places like your state’s consumer issues or rights divisions.  If you decide to seek professional financial advice, be sure you research where and what wise/competent help is and be sure you get it.  All of this information applies to your personal and business (if applicable) situations.
• If you are doing okay given today’s financial realities, take really strong preventive action now, however you need to, to avoid getting into the trouble zone.  There are probably things you can do.  The least you can do is watch your spending more carefully if you haven’t been, in the past.
• Lastly, if you are one of the lucky few to find yourself better off than ever or comfortable, be grateful.  And, make sure you too review your financial plan to be sure there aren’t any smoldering ashes waiting to ignite.

Now, how does all of this financial talk relate to becoming a more gentle, yet strong soul? Surviving in today’s world does take guts, lots of hard work and, yes, some luck.  So does succeeding (which I would define as ‘survival plus’).  There are many temptations out there.  Most of us have fallen prey to some of them at least once. Have greater trust in yourself and life.  Again, believe you can make it through these difficult times.

Believe you have a resourcefulness that will see you through.  Act upon that resourcefulness.  Don’t be a lone ranger.  Find others who share your values.  Support one another emotionally.  Don’t resort to losing who you are, your values and your character, out of fear.

I also believe that you can.  You can get out there and find the intersection between what you love to do and something that people are interested in paying you for.  I believe that each of us needs to be more ‘conscious’ about the agreements we are making.  Whether you consciously agree to something or not in your life, you ARE agreeing to something.

That’s what our government needs to remember.  That’s what businesses need to remember.  It all boils down to this:  in order to survive and thrive, there must be some measure of order, and relationships based on shared agreement.

Similar to what it takes to create a deeply satisfying, and lasting relationship with another person.  In order for your life to be deeply satisfying, you’ve got to be more gentle, and yet, strong, with yourself!

I’ll leave you with a favorite Wayne Dyer quote…

Happiness isn’t a destination.  Happiness is the way….

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• Looking on the bright side this week I’d like to congratulate the State of Maine, who became the 16th state to add sexual orientation and gender identity to a Maine law that bars discrimination in employment, housing, credit, public accomodations and education.
• How’s your love life?  If you’ve ever been in a relationship over a year, you know things tend to “cool down.”  But, is it inevitable that they “cool off?”  I’ll never forget what the psychology professor I took a Human Sexuality class with in college said:

Did you know that your biggest sex organ is between your ears!?!

Yes, indeed, is she nuts, now, just what did she mean?  That imagination, mystery and creativity are sexy turn ons!  So, don’t let your brain cells go limp when it comes to sex and intimacy, even if you are not in a relationship (catch my drift!). 

Hate to break it to you but love isn’t all wine, roses and, for some of us, chocolates!  We have to add a dash of brain food in there too once in awhile.

Make time for sensuality in your life, you deserve it (and it’s no doubt great for stress reduction!).  Stimulate your dendrites and they will give you a tingle!

And, if you’re looking for suggestions to jump start your brain, here’s a couple of my favorite books/tapes on the subject:

Hot Monogamy by Pat Love, EdD (book) (audiotape) – excellent ideas delivered in an often humorous manner.  I just love Pat Love!!!

The Whole Lesbian Sex Book by Felice Newman – full of education and information

Or, here’s a simple suggestion that goes the distance:  each of you should make a list of activities you’ve gotten away from doing that you enjoy or that you’ve fantasized about or want to try.  Then, be sure to do one of those activities at least once a week, alternating back and forth.  And, again, if you are a single slinger, make a list and treat yourself.

Champions keep playing until they get it right! – Billie Jean King

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin

For those of us in the northern hemisphere, spring has sprung!  While it may not feel that way yet (hey – it’s even been dark, chilly and rainy here in Central Florida the past couple of days!), you can bet warm, sunny days are just around the bend.

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT COACH SAPPHO:  Look what Coach Sappho has been cookin’ up for you, to keep you warm and toasty till lady spring pokes her head out:

Famous author, Angela Bonavoglia is Coach Sappho’s “Uncommon Courage” guest for March 2005.

Thursday, 3/31/05, from 7-8pm EST

Coach Sappho’s ‘Creating a Life I Love’ Club’s “Uncommon Courage” guest for March 2005 is a fabulous ally by the name of Ms. Angela Bonavoglia.  I met Ms. Bonavoglia about 18 months ago while interviewing Kathy Itzin, the catholic religious education instructor from Minnesota who had a lifetime achievement award taken back by her city’s bishop when he found out she was a lesbian.

Angela Bonavoglia has just published her latest book, Good Catholic Girls:  How Women are Leading the Fight to Change the Church.  Angela Bonavoglia is an award-winning journalist and author who covers social, health, religious and women�s issues. A previous book on abortion, The Choices We Made, was featured on Oprah. Her feature articles, investigative reports, op-eds, personal essays, and profiles have appeared in Ms. (longtime contributing editor), the Chicago Tribune, Redbook, Mirabella, Cosmopolitan, Newsday, and The New York Times, among other publications.

Angela’s article, “The Church�s Tug of War,” about women as an invisible force for reform in the Roman Catholic Church, was the lead article in The Nation in the wake of the clergy sex abuse scandals of 2002.

I can’t wait to talk with her about how and why she chose the career path she is on today.  Aren’t you curious?  I hope you will join her and I via the teleconference bridge on March 31st for an exciting discussion.  If you have specific questions you’d like me to ask her during the interview, email me so I can prepare.

Click here to read more about Ms. Bonavoglia and her latest book.  Or visit her website: http://www.goodcatholicgirls.com.